What is this fool laughing about?
FRIDAY JULY 8, 2005 - ROSWELL, GA
What is this man laughing about? Luis Alvarez, manager of
the Roswell, GA, USA Atlanta Journal Constitution warehouse,
has been laughing non-stop since March 11, 2005. The people
that work for him have no idea just what Luis finds so funny.
Perhaps Luis would tell us what is so funny, but so far
he has been unable to offer up any answers. Luis Alvarez lost
control around March 11th, the day a crazed gunman went on
a rampage downtown. Making decisions has been hard ever since.
Luis has an easy job. In fact, many are unsure exactly what
it is he does there. The purposes one would assume he would be
there for, if done, are done by other people. He sure isn't
keeping an accurate count of papers delivered and returned,
or handling customer service calls. Fact is, besides reading
the newspaper, Luis doesn't do much but try to go home by noon.
Uncontrollable fits of laughter are still a mystery to science.
What causes them, what sustains them, how to cure the condition
are all questions the scientific community is still working on.
Luis Alvarez has been unable to sleep or concentrate at work.
He has become delusional and paranoid, claiming someone is 'out
to get him' and calls for protection from the security staff. The
endless laughing make him hard to take seriously.
Some psychologists who have studied the case think the laughing is
a reaction to deep-seated guilt over his FIVE YEAR HISTORY OF POOR
SALES PERFORMANCE. Despite having a monopoly over the market, in the
richest, most affluent community in Georgia, Luis has managed only
a steady decline in sales and morale among his employees.
Despite his failures, Luis will quickly point out that he was the
one who pioneered 'next door return pick-up' for VIP customers and
expects it to be big once the other stores on the route hear about
it. Luis is also VERY PROUD OF HIS TIPSTER HOTLINE number.
Luis is always on the lookout for ways to improve things. John,
his useful co-manager, not to be outdone said, 'Look at Caribou
Coffee, look at the hotels, we are delivering paper in places and
ways most people would have never imagined possible!' Luis Alvarez,
who was an aspiring law student from New Orleans before he got old,
said, between laughs, 'FORGET A LIVING WAGE. I WANT MY WORKERS TO
WORK WITH THE FINEST SPRAYPAINT THE COX CORPORATION CAN BUY. WE
GOT ALL THE WORKERS WE WANT, NOBODY EVER QUITS, AND THE ONLY TIME
WE HAVE TO FIRE ONE IS WHEN THEY GET CLOSE TO RETIREMENT. I THINK
WE ARE KEEPING THEM RIGHT UP TO 19 YEARS AND 8 MONTHS NOW BEFORE
WE TURN THEM OUT INTO THE STREETS, TALK BAD ABOUT THEM, AND ROB
THEM OF THEIR HARD EARNED RETIREMENT MONEY.'
Abdel Isameldin, another warehouse manager at the Roswell, GA
warehouse just smiled and said, 'YOU KNOW, PRETENDING A PROBLEM
DOESN'T EXIST AND SHIFTING THE BLAME WON'T MAKE THE PROBLEM
GO AWAY, AND MAY CREATE MORE PROBLEMS. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?'
Susan 'mean black woman; whatshername, the unseen manager of
the circulation department at the Atlanta Journal Constitution,
was the source for this article and can be reached at 770-521-1556,
except when out to lunch, on a shopping trip, gone to get her
hair done, or whatever. Now shut up and quit reading this trash
and get back to work.
What is this man laughing about? Luis Alvarez, manager of
the Roswell, GA, USA Atlanta Journal Constitution warehouse,
has been laughing non-stop since March 11, 2005. The people
that work for him have no idea just what Luis finds so funny.
Perhaps Luis would tell us what is so funny, but so far
he has been unable to offer up any answers. Luis Alvarez lost
control around March 11th, the day a crazed gunman went on
a rampage downtown. Making decisions has been hard ever since.
Luis has an easy job. In fact, many are unsure exactly what
it is he does there. The purposes one would assume he would be
there for, if done, are done by other people. He sure isn't
keeping an accurate count of papers delivered and returned,
or handling customer service calls. Fact is, besides reading
the newspaper, Luis doesn't do much but try to go home by noon.
Uncontrollable fits of laughter are still a mystery to science.
What causes them, what sustains them, how to cure the condition
are all questions the scientific community is still working on.
Luis Alvarez has been unable to sleep or concentrate at work.
He has become delusional and paranoid, claiming someone is 'out
to get him' and calls for protection from the security staff. The
endless laughing make him hard to take seriously.
Some psychologists who have studied the case think the laughing is
a reaction to deep-seated guilt over his FIVE YEAR HISTORY OF POOR
SALES PERFORMANCE. Despite having a monopoly over the market, in the
richest, most affluent community in Georgia, Luis has managed only
a steady decline in sales and morale among his employees.
Despite his failures, Luis will quickly point out that he was the
one who pioneered 'next door return pick-up' for VIP customers and
expects it to be big once the other stores on the route hear about
it. Luis is also VERY PROUD OF HIS TIPSTER HOTLINE number.
Luis is always on the lookout for ways to improve things. John,
his useful co-manager, not to be outdone said, 'Look at Caribou
Coffee, look at the hotels, we are delivering paper in places and
ways most people would have never imagined possible!' Luis Alvarez,
who was an aspiring law student from New Orleans before he got old,
said, between laughs, 'FORGET A LIVING WAGE. I WANT MY WORKERS TO
WORK WITH THE FINEST SPRAYPAINT THE COX CORPORATION CAN BUY. WE
GOT ALL THE WORKERS WE WANT, NOBODY EVER QUITS, AND THE ONLY TIME
WE HAVE TO FIRE ONE IS WHEN THEY GET CLOSE TO RETIREMENT. I THINK
WE ARE KEEPING THEM RIGHT UP TO 19 YEARS AND 8 MONTHS NOW BEFORE
WE TURN THEM OUT INTO THE STREETS, TALK BAD ABOUT THEM, AND ROB
THEM OF THEIR HARD EARNED RETIREMENT MONEY.'
Abdel Isameldin, another warehouse manager at the Roswell, GA
warehouse just smiled and said, 'YOU KNOW, PRETENDING A PROBLEM
DOESN'T EXIST AND SHIFTING THE BLAME WON'T MAKE THE PROBLEM
GO AWAY, AND MAY CREATE MORE PROBLEMS. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?'
Susan 'mean black woman; whatshername, the unseen manager of
the circulation department at the Atlanta Journal Constitution,
was the source for this article and can be reached at 770-521-1556,
except when out to lunch, on a shopping trip, gone to get her
hair done, or whatever. Now shut up and quit reading this trash
and get back to work.
