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Gull's Revenge

white lunar | 02.08.2005 16:08 | Ecology | Birmingham

Birmingham politicians attacked by mother seagull defending children!

It's like a Hitchcock film claims Hemming!

Evening Mail article deconstructed.

A touching story of nature's indifference to our human power games, and the ability of a vibrant creature to represent a city's love and rage.

It seems that there exists in the heart of England a 'VIP' courtyard car park reserved for the councillors of Birminghams's corrupt city council, currently under fire from locals for wilful contempt for the victims of the recent scale 5 tornado which occured in the south of the city.

This appaling priviledge has become the home, 'temporarily' according to the Evening Mail, of three seagull chicks who are 'two weak to fly'. Whether this is due to the polluting effects of the the councillers' gas-guzzlers is not specified. Their mother, however, is on standby to attack any politicians who come near - most of the city cabinet has been attacked by the courageous creature of the air who dive-bombs them, kami-kazi style, and shits on their cars as they work tirelessly to line their pockets at Birmingham's expense.

Millionaire capitalist John Hemming, who also has a sideline in local politics (having recently been elected Lib Dem MP for Yardley) seems to be chief of spin over the whole affair, and has made the inevitable comparison with The Birds, the classic Daphne DuMaurier short story in which avian life rebels against complacent post-war western civilisation, attacking humans en masse, later made into a celebrated film by Alfred Hitchcock. Described being attacked by the plucky gull as 'quite terrifying, particularly if you are taken by surprise'. The gull's attack on the shifty MP and former deputy leader of the council came so close he is quoted as saying 'I had a feather on my shoulder'.

Makes a change from the usual chip, I suppose.

The 'courtyard terror' (notice the demonisation of the bird's defensive actions and the inevitable association with terrorism) has been going on for two weeks and there is no sign of the avian squatters leaving voluntarily. Council staff have been feeding and watering the animals, increasing their psychological dependence on the locale and making them 'fatter and fatter' - a form of benefit trap perhaps, promoting welfare dependency? At least though the staff are showing a less passive and more compassionate response to the seagull family. Despite this, Hemming claims 'no one really minds' and it's 'only a matter of time before they leave' - classic government complacency. I suppose those who have plush cars and good homes need not pay much mind to the peril and privelidge, the rights and responsibilities, of living with these creatures. Perhaps those without homes in the city might have a more varied range of responses. Many though may find a sense of solidarity with the animals, and even salute their resolve.

There is no analysis of the Mail's curious emphasis on those attacks targeting politicians; whether or not the 'caring council staff' who, it seems can get close enough to feed the animals, are attacked is not made clear. But maybe if the councillors, rather than behaving like the unconcious agents of terror of the situation, instigators of war, had the humility to feed the birds themselves, as well as the skill and sensitivity to handle the situation with any finesse, the mother gull could find some peace.

Evening Mail, August 2nd 05,

deconstructed by

white lunar


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  1. The war on seagulls continues... — White Lunar