Up the creek without a paddle!
Or should I say, up the canal without a paddle - plus several other things! From the BNP website:
"Yorkshire activists Tom Linden and Steve King set out yesterday on their 127 mile canal trip to raise money for the BNP.
Getting started on a wet August day, Tom and Steve are planning to paddle the entire length of the Liverpool-Leeds canal in a two man Canadian canoe raising sponsorship along the way . The seven day trip will involve negotiating 98 locks and 2 tunnels along the route including the notorious Bingley 5-rise lock and the reputedly haunted mile long Foulridge Tunnel!
The venture is even more remarkable when one considers that neither of our Party colleagues are by their own admission “spring chickens” and Tom spent a week in hospital earlier this year where he was diagnosed with a hole in the heart.
The tenacious “bulldog spirit” of Waterloo, the Blitz and countless other battles lives on in brave men such as Tom and Steve."
As I watched BNPTV earlier today and saw the intrepid pair set off on their voyage of discovery, waved off by a small band of flag-waving well-wishers, I received a phone call. Disaster had struck and the venture was scuppered!
Tom and Steve had apparently stopped for the night at some little place near Wigan and at some point their caravan was broken into and several items stolen. It is not yet certain where the lads were while this happened, but perhaps they had gone for supper at the village pub? Anyway, Tom had all his clothing stolen, but the thief kindly left one trainer. Maybe he was disturbed and decided to hop it! £77 of donations collected before leaving Liverpool had also disappeared.
Steve King apparently swiftly lost his "bulldog spirit" as he developed a "sore back" and went home, leaving poor old Tom stranded with no money, no clothing, and no credit on his mobile phone, plus the battery needed charging! However, being made of sterner stuff than his erstwhile partner, Tom repaired to the pub where he borrowed a charger (his own having been stolen) and phoned a BNP member to help get him and the canoe back to Harrogate. (Presumably he also borrowed enough to make the phone call) Unfortunately he will have to spend another night in the caravan as the other member cannot help until tomorrow morning.
After the fanfare from BNPTV and the BNP website, and all the good wishes, plus donations and pledges made, Tom must be really deflated. As he himself has been known to say on occasion: "You couldn't make it up!"
The words 'Pissup' and 'Brewery' spring immediately to mind. And as the Nazi scum say, "Laughed my white fucking arse off!" I haven't laughed so much since reading veteran fascist John Griff Wood had had both testicles removed after being diagnosed with testicular cancer.