How Ready For Revolution Are You? Take This Test...

Whilst attending a May Day celebration, you and hundreds of other people attending the demo, which is marching through a busy city centre, come across a MacDonalds fast food outlet, some of the crowd start attacking it with bricks and bottles, you proceed to

a) piss your pants, because the aggro is too much, making you run away in shame of your fellow demo’ers and to find an Oxfam to buy some more slacks from, you’re not sure if you’ll be coming on anything like it again and you don’t know if you’ll ever break the law again or even swear, it was that bad
b) grab the nearest, most loosest, available piece of street furniture to lob through any other window of a transnational corporation, now smashed mac dees windows are fucked, simultaneously covering your face with a hankerchief as you neglected to bring your blac bloc outfit as its all a bit spur of the moment
c) stand on the peripherals urging the young ‘uns, calling the coppers names that describe their inadequate ability to function as ethical beings, but never, ever once doing anything physical to actually manifest your own destructive desires, either because you’ve been there and done it all, or some other half-baked justification for doing nothing
d) film everything in an annoyingly getting in the way kind of way, then put it up on you tube without covering all the peoples faces and leaving your internet connection wide open for mi5/police agent infiltration and spying from that moment forth because your comments are monitored and your IP address is laid bare for them to see (because your not protecting yourself online)
e) walk by, tutting and shaking your head at the stupid vandalism, almost childish act, that you believe is negative for the movement and only helps the mass media to keep us down and oppressed by feeding the public stereotypes of anarchos/commies/’other socialists’/eco’s and other such rebels (of which you class your self as one or more)
f) none of the above, but it was a balanced response to the action
g) none of the above, because you weren’t there for some reason, but you read about it
h) none of the above as it wasn’t your affinity group

A power station has been targeted for a nice big sweeping closure by some activists concerned about the state of the planet in the hands of the global elites, a big action has therefore been called and you go along, you get a text telling you to get over to the fence, whereupon you arrive to find a massive argy-bargy going down and the fence in tatters surrounded by shit loads of pigs with dogs, you get involved by

a) standing around taking loads of photos trying not to get your camera broken, pissed off with everyone for pushing you around in the middle of the fray and generally not having a good media friendly time
b) grabbing the fence and tearing it down with your bare hands – or any available tool, even a coppers bolt croppers if there’s any going, some rope or other resource hanging around, along side your brothers and sisters of change, feeling bloody great
c) nothing of any great value to anything or anyone there, but being there is important than actually doing anything on the day
d) ranting off your head and getting really angry about stuff, waving a banner or some such material and kind of feeling and maybe acting like not really belonging there (maybe should have been at the macdonalds action described above),
e) co-ordinating those that placed their body in your hands, that gave up a day for you, that get arrested for you and that listen to you and hang on your every word, convinced that your way is the best way to do it, the way that gets results and the way that propagates the truth of the movement in that if you don’t do it, the nutters from answers a, c and d will and then the shit really would hit the fan and the police would arrest everyone
f) none of the above but it you were there on the day
g) none of the above as you weren’t there for some reason
h) none of the above as it wasn’t your affinity group

A young man is walking along the street when he is stopped by two police officers, harrased and slammed up against the side of a police car, you respond by

a) walking past minding your own business, as the kid probably raped an old lady or something and deserved it, what with kids running around these days killing each other and all, but you still don’t like the police
b) immediately running over and telling the young man what his rights are, telling the coppers you saw what they did to him and that you want their names as you write their numbers down on your bus ticket for to make a complaint about their disproportionate use of force the very next day
c) stand on the peripherals urging the young ‘un to resist arrest, calling the coppers names that describe their inadequate ability to function as ethical beings, but never, ever once doing anything physical to actually manifest your own destructive and/or protesting desires, either because you’ve been there and done it all, or some other justification for doing nothing
d) smacking one of the coppers really hard in the face with your fist and running off, not even stopping to turn around at the mess in your wake and getting away to live another day
e) watching, always watching, but never speaking, preparing to speak, when the moment is right, and say the right thing that will make everyone feel ok about it in the end, but only if they want to hear it, couz if they don’t then that’s fair enough
f) none of the above as that doesn’t happen round your way
g) none of the above as you didn’t see it, but your mate did
h) none of the above, as it wasn’t your affinity group

You turn on the news and hear a report of a bomb going off at a bank down town, no one was injured and the police believe anarchists or other ‘so called left wing’ activists were responsible, the damage was estimated at half a million pounds and the street was shut for a day, meaning no businesses could work and no other banks on the street could operate as a security precaution, you are surpised at such an attack, as its rare around your way, and you react by

a) gasping in horror at the backward direction the movement is taking, reeling at the selfish actions and dangerous tactics of those that have been your comrades on marches and even in police cells, how could they?
b) Start making your own bomb immediately, with not a moment to lose
c) stand up in front of the television pretending you are being sent down for the action and reading aloud your prepared statement in which you slate the whole global elite conspiracy for total world domination and tell the court that that was the reason you built and detonated the device, knowing deep down you would never be in that situation, as you wouldn’t bomb anything and you leave the doing something to others as your own weed/alcohol/paedophile/crack (delete as appropriate) addicton is more important than changing anything at all, and your weak and fucking pathetic and you fucking know it – kill yourself
d) ring up the local news agencies and claim responsibility on behalf of a randomly selected group off the internet that is currently hot news across the area, like say revolutionary peoples front of judea, or the judean peoples revolutionary front, or some such name like that
e) mutter to yourself and jump online to spread fear and hate of anarchists by commenting that blac bloc aggressive style bombing style shit is not called for, but the revolution is, just peacefully, like all the other peaceful revolutions in…that place where there was once a peaceful revolution..somewhere, you cant remember now but you’ll email or text it to me when you do
f) none of the above as you don’t have a tele and wouldn’t watch the net or other technological shit
g) none of the above for some other reason known only to you
h) none of the above as its not your affinity group

results

mostly a’s = you’re not ready for the revolution or any real change to your comfy existence, don’t rock the boat

mostly b’s = welcome aboard, next stop insurrectionville

mostly c’s = get a career and forget about all this stuff, its best if you do, you know it too

mostly d’s = calm down and get some focus, you could be useful, but you could also hinder people…think about it

mostly e’s = you’re one of the well read sorts, you know your stuff, no doubt, but don’t leave the militants with no academic backing or support on the ground. Because you don’t like the tactics, doesn’t mean collaboration wont bring about mutual aims…

mostly f’s = you could be useful

mostly g’s = are you a copper?

mostly h’s = I know, it wasn’t your affinity group, so you didn’t take part…cheers.