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Tories behaving badly! Latest Porkbolter from Worthing now out

Porkie Pie | 18.09.2011 10:22 | South Coast

THE LATEST Porkbolter newsletter from Worthing in West Sussex reveals much naughtiness among local Tories and asks readers for suggestions on how their MP should be punished.

Tories behaving badly!

Worthing MP and councillor both on the naughty mat

WORTHING is hanging its head in shame after Tory MP Tim Loughton misbehaved in the House of Commons and had to be told off like a naughty schoolboy by the Speaker.

The famous incident took place back on July 13 and has since been posted up on YouTube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CtHPQnhc5I). Speaker John Bercow had to shout "Order!" a number of times to silence the East Worthing MP. He then said: "I say to the Children's Miniser, try to calm down and behave like an adult and if you can't, if it's beyond you, leave the chamber, get out - we'll manage without you."

Facing a further interruption, he declared: "This is intolerable behaviour... No, it's not funny! Only in your mind, Mr Loughton, is it funny. It's not funny at all, it's disgraceful!"

The ticking-off provoked some interest in the pages of the Worthing Herald, though the first Worthing readers heard about it was in a letter from Loughton himself replying to a critical letter that had, for some reason, only been printed in the Shoreham edition. Wrote one Durrington resident: "The public are absolutely fed-up by the loutish behaviour exhibited in the House of Commons by MPs such as Mr Loughton."

In our own heartfelt message to the town's second most popular parliamentary representative, we say this: "Tim, old chap - you've let your party down, you've let the voters down, you've let your pals here at The Porkbolter down, but most of all you've let yourself down like a self-harming tinfoil party balloon. You may be a big-shot minister up in London, but down here you're nothing but a sorry embarrassment and a reminder of all that's gone wrong with Broken Britain."

How should Loughton be PUNISHED?

* Send him to bed early without any Fat Cat cordon bleu supper?

* Make him hand-write a cringing letter of apology to each and every one of his 73,000 constituents? In his own blood?

* Force him to reinstate abusive graffiti erroneously removed from Tory Party HQ in Worthing's Union Place?

* Stop him using his FatFace socal networking account and allow The Porkbolter 24/7 monitoring rights of his BlackBerry in case he does something naughty again?

* Take away his parliamentary salary and expenses and evict his mum from her home to teach the whole feral family a lesson?

* Make him do the 'Birdman' leap from the pier with no wings, his hands tied together and his trousers round his ankles?

Oh, come on, you must be able to think of something better than that! Drop us an email at  porkbolter@eco-action.org


Local MP is top of charts!

ON THE positive side, we have to congratulate Tim Loughton MP! The City slicker and Burgess Hill resident, who passes himself off as a representative of the people of Worthing, managed to notch up the highest expense claim of any MP in Sussex for the first three months of this year (Worthing Herald, June 9). Well done, Tim, for grabbing a tasty £9,872 of taxpayers' money - on top of your Parliamentary Under Secretary of State's salary of £97,139!

Meet next year's mayor- it's Mr Angry!

AFTER his stirring anti-housing development cameo at the public meeting in Durrington on August 26 (see below), there may have been some who imagined Worthing's new deputy mayor Charles James was some kind of saviour. But, unfortunately, we have to relate that he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

Mr James was rapped sharply on the knuckles and sent away for anger management training after a complaint against him by Lib Dem councillor Diane Jones was upheld at a hearing on August 18. Mrs Jones said that at a Northbrook and Durrington Neighbourhood Panel meeting on January 26, Mr James tried to "bully me into submission". She added: "During the meeting Cllr. James continually seemed annoyed or aggravated with the smallest of comments, he seemed upset if people didn't agree with his opinion."

Another witness said Mr James had acted "aggressively" and things got so tense that a local police officer attending the meeting felt he had to get involved!

The Conservative Deputy Mayor did not take kindly to the borough council's internal investigation and, papers on the council website reveal, he declared on May 20 that he had no confidence in the investigating officer and called for him to be replaced. He even threatened to lodge a personal complaint against him for the way he had conducted his investigation!

Readers may recall that we were a little disappointed when Mr James was lined up for next year's Mayorship, feeling we would be missing out on a whole host of opportunities for satire and mockery that would have been delivered to us on a plate had Clivio Robertsconi not stepped down at the last minute. Now, however, a smile has returned to our snouts. Roll on April 2012!


Greedy looters to be given free rein to pillage England

DOES anyone remember how the Tories used to talk about threats to the countryside when they were in opposition? Remember all that hype about Prescott wanting to tarmac over our English fields? Remember how the Tories told us that they were quite 'green' now, actually - and how to prove their sincerity they even came up with a new logo featuring a hurriedly-drawn tree?

Remember how they told us that their big idea for the future was "localism", which would devolve to local communities the power to make decisions over planning controversies, ending for ever the days when the nasty old (Labour) government could impose concrete abominations on the rural shires?

Well, incredible though it may seem, it turns out that the Tories were in fact peddling a massive load of stinking lies, just to make sure they got elected! Who could ever have imagined that one of our major political parties would act in such a manner? Indeed, not only are they doing nothing to stop the property developers wrecking our natural environment, but they are actually planning on removing the existing obstacles in the path of the ruthless sociopathic money-men who suck the blood out of our communities and lives in so many varied ways.

The Observer explained (August 20) that the government's new national planning policy framework "repeatedly confirms that planning must be seen as a tool of economic growth". It added: "Decisions that have been rejected are being reprised as developers anticipate that the coalition's pro-growth development strategy will allow them to override previous objections. Crucially, it has been estimated that as few as 5% of councils will have up-to-date development plans by next April when the new framework is due to come into force. This is important. The government has signalled that councils failing to meet the deadline will be assumed to be in favour of a 'permissive planning system'. Or, as John Howell MP, parliamentary private secretary to Greg Clark, the minister for decentralisation, explained in January, developers will be able to build 'where they like and when they like."

Planning minister Bob Neill has continued the Tories' drift back to frothing-at-the-mouth reactionary moronity by claiming objections to the planning free-for-all are the work of a "carefully choreographed smear campaign by leftwingers"! Among these sinister subversives are the The Daily Telegraph, The National Trust and the CPRE, who point out that the framework has also done away with the guidance stressing that brownfield sites should be developed before greenfield ones, meaning developers will always go for virgin countryside, which is cheaper to build on.

Once again, we see that the image of 'traditionalism' and concern for the English way of life so often presented by the Conservative Party is nothing but a brittle plastic mask, that crumbles away the moment they hold the reins of power. It is, in fact, an organisation that exists solely to allow the rich to get richer, to facilitate the robbery of the general public by a tiny elite of the powerful and corrupt with which the Tory party hierarchy is totally entwined.

The Conservative Party is revealing itself to be nothing but a mafia of arrogant businessmen, a criminal gang looting this country which holds in contempt the serfs who live here and their irksome attempts to get in the way of the fume-belching gold-plated bulldozers of profit, greed and destruction. And that's why we urge everyone to turn out and support the protest being staged by local campaigners outside Conservative Party HQ in Union Place, Worthing (opposite Waitrose) at 2pm on Saturday October 15.

* Durrington's campaign against the development (ie: obliteration) of green fields is going from strength to strength. Don't Over Develop Durrington held a big meeting at Durrington Community Centre on August 26, at which councillors were left in no doubt about how residents feel about plans for 700-plus new homes on farmland next to Titnore Woods. Several of them even joined in with the mood of the evening, not least Deputy Mayor Charles James (aka Mr Angry - see front), who delivered a rousing call for opposition to the plans. For more info go to www.dontoverdevelopdurrington.blogspot.com

See also www.handsoffoursussexcountryside.blogspot.com and www.saveoursussex.com for wider county issues


PORK-SCRATCHINGS

WELL done to Cortis Avenue Wildlife Garden in Broadwater which was chosen as the winner of The Co-operative South-East Region Members' Big Community Vote 2011. For more on Worthing's first community garden go to  http://tinyurl.com/Cortisavewildlife-on-Facebook . We reckon that with economic meltdown round the corner, this sort of food growing eco-initiative is going to prove very important to us all. Also worth looking up is Transition Town Worthing, which has a website at transitiontownworthing.ning.com.

* * *

CONTINUING the green-fingered theme, Porkbolter reader Jim got in touch to warn people not to use the Roundup weedkiller from US firm Monsanto. He points out that it contains glyphosate, which is extremely toxic. A report released in June linked glyphosate to birth defects in frog and chicken embryos. So stay well clear!

* * *

THOSE readers who make use of the Interwebs device currently in vogue may be interested in a new site, www.worthingstuff.co.uk, which collates Tweets relating to Worthing and presents them in a handy fashion. It will obviously get better, the more people use it.

* * *

IT IS an ironic fact that while the media and therefore most of the public seem to imagine anarchists spend their lives rioting and fighting the police, the big date in the anarcho-calendar is in fact a bookfair. The free event in London, to which anti-state radicals flock in their thousands for meetings, magazines, t-shirts and veggie burgers (as well as the occasional book...) is on Saturday October 22, 10am to 7pm, at Queen Mary, University of London, Mile End Road (Mile End tube). See www.anarchistbookfair.org.uk

* * *

INFLATION has hit us all, but particularly hard for free and non-commercial newsletters is the rise in annual PO Box charges from £62.85 in 2009 to £95 in 2010 and now £170 for 2011. Gulp! Anyone who can help chip in can send donations (made payable to The Porkbolter) to us via our, errr, PO Box (see below)..

A pigture of politeness

THE PORKBOLTER is a totally independent newsletter produced for and by Worthing people that has been showing up the Tory hoodlums by behaving impeccably well for the last 14 years. To get the next six issues through the post send a donation of £3 or more payable to The Porkbolter at PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ. You can also pick up a copy at 'Green' at 63 Victoria Road, Worthing (near the station). We also run an email list, which you can join on request from  porkbolter@eco-action.org and issue (very) occasional Tweets via @porkbolter.

Published and printed by The Porkbolter, PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ. No copyright, no Lought-ish behaviour here.

(This issue is also available in pdf format on our format, meaning you can see what the actual printed copy looks like, including the cartoon, and maybe print out a few copies of your own to distribute. Go to www.eco-action.org/porkbolter/oct11.html)


Porkie Pie
- Homepage: www.eco-action.org/porkbolter

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