Skip to content or view mobile version

Home | Mobile | Editorial | Mission | Privacy | About | Contact | Help | Security | Support

A network of individuals, independent and alternative media activists and organisations, offering grassroots, non-corporate, non-commercial coverage of important social and political issues.

Iran Using Chumbawumba Trick To Defuse Car Bombs

Heinz H. Clement | 15.11.2015 18:49 | Anti-Nuclear | Anti-militarism | Terror War | World

It cannot catch the Anarchist who asks some passers-by for a cigarette, breaks off the filter tip and walks away until the improvised fuse ignites the next stage, but it does not need to – because car bombs these days do not come out of backyard garages, but out of electronics factories. And the modern industrial car bomb with its high-end multifunctional user interface can be fought on an entirely different level than its self-reliant lo-tech ancestor. Like for any serial product, the disposal thereof can be serialised as well. Doing so has turned Washington´s ground-based assassination program into a virtual train wreck.

Technically, the industrial car bomb behaves like an answering machine. It hooks up to the cellphone network and lures for incoming calls. Once the message left by the caller equals a pre-configured pass-phrase, such as “the lazy fox quickly jumps over the brown dog,” it answers with an explosion. If you say “the spoiled unicorn aggressively runs into the bored elephant” instead, nothing unusual happens, other than that your message might be lost once the damned thing goes off with the next caller.

If you were to say “Hi, I am your creator and I got a software update for you” nothing would happen either, because cars don´t upgrade their software that way but only through outgoing connections: “Hi, I am your product, have you got something new for me?” This is the industrial standard to avoid hostile takeover.

Now when one of the Revolutionary Guard´s stealth car bomb scanners drives along a street, it takes over the cellphone network in its surroundings and hands through most of the content to the existing ground antennas. The youngsters have already made a sport out of spotting the grey vehicles when they notice increased transmission quality.

But the bomb scanner looks for answering machines luring inside the cars, and for that purpose filters out all that have moved since the last patrol. The remaining ones then receive human attention as to whether there is just a cellphone in a car with its owner in absence, or a possible bomb. When they spot a suspect car whose owner does not show up, they have it removed to a special parking lot on the outskirts of the city where an explosion cannot do any damage other than to the car itself.

The removal service staff are being handed a special box that tells the car bomb that it was hooked up to the network, while it tells the network that for technical reasons the car bomb at the moment could not take any messages, and which they transport and hand in together with the “blast-frozen” car. The car bomb then, once triggered, can send its possibly unique order confirmation back to the perpetrators before it goes off, of course supplemented with a positioning spoofing feed pretending it had never been moved, while the anti-car-bomb software prints out a protocol for the court.

The occasional unresolved but harmless case remains free of cost for the owners, provided they did not violate any parking restrictions. Being forwarded to the bomb parking ground management by local cops when they report their car as missing, they only receive a warning to switch off their phones when leaving them unattended, before being handed their property back.

The Revolutionary Guards say the cost of the program was only a tiny scrap of the material cost that would have been caused by explosions had they not been deflected. The technique undermines Washington´s allegedly forgery-proof one-time-pad based trigger and confirmation system, so that remote control operators at the Pentagon or its bases cannot tell whether their attacks reach their targets – in fact they receive 100% success messages all the time a significantly unknown share of which is not true.

It is remarkable that whenever the bomb scanner passes by, the car bomb says to it: “Hi, I am an answering machine, do you have any incoming calls for me?” – which is something the Anarchist whom you lighted a cigarette will never do. The Revolutionary Guard says it has counted a low three-digit number of explosions this year, and that the choice of targets implied the perpetrators would like to blow Iran back to a level where no inhabitant thereof would grow skills and knowledge beyond the capabilities of a repair technician.

It said the lag between Washington realising that it was punching the air, and it changing its behaviour was being incrementally estimated by an algorithm certified to hammer out collective psychological estimations for the court documentation. The available data already was sufficient to prove the existence of a competition element in the campaign, where a putative success message from bombing a target of a certain worth would cause up to four-fold efforts to be invested into car-bombing other targets of the same category.

The country´s Supreme Leader is reported to have remarked in a Friday prayer sermon: “Once we give the imperialist beast a bloody nose, it reaches out with all its paws for more of the same.”

Heinz H. Clement

Upcoming Coverage
View and post events
Upcoming Events UK
24th October, London: 2015 London Anarchist Bookfair
2nd - 8th November: Wrexham, Wales, UK & Everywhere: Week of Action Against the North Wales Prison & the Prison Industrial Complex. Cymraeg: Wythnos o Weithredu yn Erbyn Carchar Gogledd Cymru

Ongoing UK
Every Tuesday 6pm-8pm, Yorkshire: Demo/vigil at NSA/NRO Menwith Hill US Spy Base More info: CAAB.

Every Tuesday, UK & worldwide: Counter Terror Tuesdays. Call the US Embassy nearest to you to protest Obama's Terror Tuesdays. More info here

Every day, London: Vigil for Julian Assange outside Ecuadorian Embassy

Parliament Sq Protest: see topic page
Ongoing Global
Rossport, Ireland: see topic page
Israel-Palestine: Israel Indymedia | Palestine Indymedia
Oaxaca: Chiapas Indymedia
Regions
All Regions
Birmingham
Cambridge
Liverpool
London
Oxford
Sheffield
South Coast
Wales
World
Other Local IMCs
Bristol/South West
Nottingham
Scotland
Social Media
You can follow @ukindymedia on indy.im and Twitter. We are working on a Twitter policy. We do not use Facebook, and advise you not to either.
Support Us
We need help paying the bills for hosting this site, please consider supporting us financially.
Other Media Projects
Schnews
Dissident Island Radio
Corporate Watch
Media Lens
VisionOnTV
Earth First! Action Update
Earth First! Action Reports
Topics
All Topics
Afghanistan
Analysis
Animal Liberation
Anti-Nuclear
Anti-militarism
Anti-racism
Bio-technology
Climate Chaos
Culture
Ecology
Education
Energy Crisis
Fracking
Free Spaces
Gender
Globalisation
Health
History
Indymedia
Iraq
Migration
Ocean Defence
Other Press
Palestine
Policing
Public sector cuts
Repression
Social Struggles
Technology
Terror War
Workers' Movements
Zapatista
Major Reports
NATO 2014
G8 2013
Workfare
2011 Census Resistance
Occupy Everywhere
August Riots
Dale Farm
J30 Strike
Flotilla to Gaza
Mayday 2010
Tar Sands
G20 London Summit
University Occupations for Gaza
Guantanamo
Indymedia Server Seizure
COP15 Climate Summit 2009
Carmel Agrexco
G8 Japan 2008
SHAC
Stop Sequani
Stop RWB
Climate Camp 2008
Oaxaca Uprising
Rossport Solidarity
Smash EDO
SOCPA
Past Major Reports
Encrypted Page
You are viewing this page using an encrypted connection. If you bookmark this page or send its address in an email you might want to use the un-encrypted address of this page.
If you recieved a warning about an untrusted root certificate please install the CAcert root certificate, for more information see the security page.

Global IMC Network


www.indymedia.org

Projects
print
radio
satellite tv
video

Africa

Europe
antwerpen
armenia
athens
austria
barcelona
belarus
belgium
belgrade
brussels
bulgaria
calabria
croatia
cyprus
emilia-romagna
estrecho / madiaq
galiza
germany
grenoble
hungary
ireland
istanbul
italy
la plana
liege
liguria
lille
linksunten
lombardia
madrid
malta
marseille
nantes
napoli
netherlands
northern england
nottingham imc
paris/île-de-france
patras
piemonte
poland
portugal
roma
romania
russia
sardegna
scotland
sverige
switzerland
torun
toscana
ukraine
united kingdom
valencia

Latin America
argentina
bolivia
chiapas
chile
chile sur
cmi brasil
cmi sucre
colombia
ecuador
mexico
peru
puerto rico
qollasuyu
rosario
santiago
tijuana
uruguay
valparaiso
venezuela

Oceania
aotearoa
brisbane
burma
darwin
jakarta
manila
melbourne
perth
qc
sydney

South Asia
india


United States
arizona
arkansas
asheville
atlanta
Austin
binghamton
boston
buffalo
chicago
cleveland
colorado
columbus
dc
hawaii
houston
hudson mohawk
kansas city
la
madison
maine
miami
michigan
milwaukee
minneapolis/st. paul
new hampshire
new jersey
new mexico
new orleans
north carolina
north texas
nyc
oklahoma
philadelphia
pittsburgh
portland
richmond
rochester
rogue valley
saint louis
san diego
san francisco
san francisco bay area
santa barbara
santa cruz, ca
sarasota
seattle
tampa bay
united states
urbana-champaign
vermont
western mass
worcester

West Asia
Armenia
Beirut
Israel
Palestine

Topics
biotech

Process
fbi/legal updates
mailing lists
process & imc docs
tech