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"The Bristolian" - 3/12/01

localnews4us@yahoo.co.uk | 05.12.2001 01:16

"FULL STEAM AHEAD THROUGH THE SHIT "

MASONIC MAFIOSA CABAAL BANKROLL KULTURE BID

The SOCIETY OF MERCHANT VENTURERS - the wealthy clique of businessmen who control our City - has become the second business organisation to finance Bristol's European Capital of Culture bid. Following last week's exclusive revelations (Bristolian 26) that PEARCE CONSTRUCTION/CREST NICHOLSON were financing the Bristol 2008 bid we can now reveal that the MERCHANT VENTURERS have contributed £25,000! This mix of old and new money is conclusive proof that the Bid is entirely in the hands of the corporate business sector who will use it to push their own financial interests. What could be more appropriate than a partnership of the Company who have ruined The Centre and Harbourside and the slave trading old money of the Merchant Venturers. It sums up just who is running the City. The £25,000 was handed over to corporate buffoon ANDREW KELLY by no less than ANDREW DENSHAM - THE MASTER OF THE SOCIETY OF MERCHANT VENTURERS. For Godsake!!! We're supposed to be a modern city but our culture bid is financed by "The One They Call THE MASTER". It would be like Barcelona's bid being financed by the Grand Inquisitor of the Inquisition!! Next week exclusive: Bristol Cultural Partnership announces financial support from the Imperial Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan. In return the Klan get to have their pointy headed logo on all Bristol 2008 publicity and Crest Nicholson will build a series of fiery crosses along harbourside. Justifying the sponsorship tie-in Andrew Kelly said "there was no actual evidence the KKK had ever actually lynched anyone in Bristol and the crosses were being commissioned by local artists".
SO JUST WHO IS WHO ON THE BRISTOL CULTURAL PARTNERSHIP (BCP)? Apart from the party political placemen, the BCP Board is made up overwhelmingly of powerful business interests in the City. These include:
JOHN BURKE (President of Bristol Chamber of Commerce)
JOHN SAVAGE (Chief Executive Bristol Chamber of Commerce)
LOUIS SHERWOOD (Chairman Clerical Medical)
DEREK LICKORISH (Managing Director SWEB)
PAUL KEARNEY (Managing Director Bristol Evening Post & Press Ltd - what a surprise!).
Added to this are a series of local arts quangocrats who can be paraded as a cultural fig leaf while the corporate businessmen pursue their vested interests. There is no way this board anywhere near reflects the people of Bristol and what they want. It is a complete unelected rigged stitch-up. Chair is City Councillor HELEN HOLLAND who sits on nearly every government quango in the region including the South West Regional Development Agency and is, interestingly, also a director of @bristol who her own council heavily funds. Along with Andrew "the Buffoon" Kelly and Helen Holland, NICKY RYLANCE makes up the 3rd member of "The Team" which is directing the bid and responsible to the Board. Rylance is a model of modern spin doctorism for corporate interests. For ten years she was Deputy Chief Executive of Bristol Chamber of Commerce (again!) and doubled up as their chief PR spin doctor responsible for "Communications and Public Affairs". According to BCP's own PR gloss "she spends much of her time working on the development of public/private initiatives in Bristol" - spin doctor speak for "finding news ways of channelling public money to her business buddies"!
"The Team" membership is completed by some admin workers/researchers who are all called EMMA and are described in gushing terms for us to get excited over. For example, EMMA No.1 "has lived in Bristol for just over a year and loves the city and plays the piano". EMMA No.2 is "very excited about moving to Bristol". Quite why there are no people in Bristol who might have some cultural knowledge about the City is not explained, so expect further floods of Outside Emmas onto the payroll.
We don't think the BCP Team have the first flying fucking clue about Bristol people and our culture! The Bristolian will be calling a meeting in the new year to set up an alternative Cultural Board - "The Committee of Public Safety" - to sort out some right proper culture for the punters! In the meantime you can phone Kelly and the Emmas (60s Rock Band?!) on 0117 9881565 to discuss cultural matters, and Nicky Rylance will be delighted to get your call on 0117 9881571.


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COMMUNITY SPORTS STITCH-UP

BRISTOL COMMUNITY SPORT was set up in September 1997 as a "not for profit" provident society to take over the running of the City Council's swimming pools and sports centres. The emphasis was very much on a co-operative approach and ethos, and working with LEISURE PARTNERS BCS was able to establish itself as a "leisure trust". This co-operative approach has rapidly vanished however, under the reign of Managing Director LINDSAY RENWICK. His proposals and authoritarian management style are leading to demoralisation and resignations amongst long serving staff at pools and centres, who are facing front line staff cutbacks while Renwick fills senior positions with his cronies fresh from gas privatisation initiatives in South Wales. Staffing levels are being minimised as "cost-cutting measures" while Renwick is currently proposing to increase his own salary from £30,000 to a whopping £60,000 a year! ! Much trouble is a-brewing in the DEEP END!

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ARCHIE LEACH STOP PRESS:

It seems @bristol can't lift a finger without getting sponsored to do it. They've stuck a few display boards with photos of Cary Grant in the foyer of Wildscreen - sponsored by EDWARD WARE HOMES!! For Archie's sake! What did they pay for - the fucking Blue Tack?

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FUHRER WATCH By "The Wanderer"

The Broadmead Fuhrer JOHN HIRST has been out searching for displaced beggars: In a tired and emotional state, after an evening wining and dining at a well-known Clifton trough, Fuhrer Hirst went on a personal rough sleeper count round the city. This active research could be the first signs of a tortured conscience - but more likely part of the crazed Fuhrer's attempts to repatriate all beggars beyond the city walls!

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FIGHTING FUND: This week £22!
Cheers and grovelling flattery to Synergy, the Vicar of Skaville, Kieron, and Martin from Totterdown for their generosity: WE LOVE YOU!
IT COSTS £40 TO SPONSOR AN ISSUE - we await your sponsorship, oh generous donators!

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PARTY FOR PEACE
7th Dec, 10pm till Late Front Line Studios, Cave St (Off Portland Square, just up from Cosies!)
Featuring live music, DJs, multimedia, films, and theatre.
Tickets £4, advance tickets can be purchased from the One Stop Tali Cafe (ffi: 0117 9426687/One Stop Tali).

CREST QUOTE:

Crest Nicholson Chief Executive JOHN CALCUTT, announcing PROFITS AT RECORD LEVEL OF OVER £25million, said this this week: "Crest is now concentrating on large scale developments where it can create a whole neighbourhood - WHICH ALLOWS US TO CHARGE A HIGHER PRICE". Just where could he be thinking of?!

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PUB WATCH BY "MAN 'O THE PEEP 'OLE"

INNSPIRED FIGHTBACK BY ANGRY BOOZERS - ITS PUB WAR!!!
Following our news in Bristolian 25 of the successful moves by a Hambrook landlord to get a fair rent set by the multi-national chain that owns his pub, we can now report on an uprising by tenant publicans of the INNSPIRED CHAIN. Tenants are being forced to buy their beer through INNSPIRED at grossly inflated prices which make it impossible for them to make a living. An 11 Gallon keg of Blackthorn Cider costs JUST £57 from a Bristol wholesaler, but £88 through INNSPIRED! The multi-national chain have got their tenants literally over a barrell with their "buy from us only" contracts. The pubs are being bled dry by the chains in yet another harmful effect of globalisation as all local identity is lost in the pursuit of international profit. ROSS GOLDBY of the JOLLY COLLIERS in Bedminster said this week:"We do all the hard work and the only ones getting rich are Innpired. They have screwed the tenants into the ground". Landlord RAYMOND BARNES of the ELDON HOUSE, who has already been on rent strike last October, said:"I've had no help from Innspired. This is a PUB WAR." Sentiments echoed by STUART WILLIAMS of WEDLOCKS who said :"Innspired are only interested in making money while we are left to fend for ourselves." GLORIA WILLIAMS of the VELINDRA added:"We have to pay through the nose for our beer. It does not allow you to be competitive." Further support came from THE RISING SUN in Windmill Hill and the SEVEN STARS in Redcliffe. Many of these pubs now face closure. Innspired's corporate slogan is - wait for it - "Local pubs for local people"!!! The Bristolian says: "SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL LANDLORDS AGAINST INNSPIRED. INNSPIRED - FUCK OFF OUT OF BRISTOL!!!"

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HEY! WE THOUGHT PANDAS WERE THE GOOD GUYS!

@bristol boffins on Darwinian rampage!
HERR DOKTOR JOHN DURANT, the demented boffin who runs @bristol, got more than he bargained for with his RIO TINTO ZINC sponsored BIODIVERSITY DEBATE last week. Protestors enraged at one of the worlds biggest corporate villains sponsoring @bristol successfully persuaded debate chairman Jonathan Dimbleby to boycott the talk. Just as DOKTOR JOHN was thanking RTZ for their support, some RAPSCALLION set off the fire alarm clearing the whole complex, including an @bristol corporate executive meeting elsewhere! Protesters made their case against Nestle and RTZ to the audience milling about outside as the good DOKTOR fumed his fury. Several passers-by pointed out the amazing facial similarity between HERR DOKTOR and JOSEPH MENGELE. And once inside and the panel of speakers was revealed, one began to wonder if they had a point: The panel was completely biased towards the bonkers end of rightwing nutterdom with no attempt at balance: Durant had said RTZ's sponsorship would not affect the debate, but - first speaker up - was PROFESSOR TOM BURKE (Policy advisor to BP Amoco and Rio Tinto Zinc!). He was followed by ARCHIE MONTGOMERY of the National Farmers Union, RICHARD NORTH (well known anti-green fanatic and apologist for agri-business) , and PROFESSOR CHRIS BAINES (Chairman of Yorkshire Water and another corporate business apologist). But even these paled into insignificance when Durant cronie PROFESSOR SIR JOHN BERINGER CBE delivered his talk. BERINGER is PRO VICE CHANCELLOR of BRISTOL UNIVERSITY and a rabid enthusiast for GM crops. Beringer announced loftily:"THERE ARE SOME SPECIES THAT ARE DOOMED AND THERE'S NOTHING WE NEED DO ABOUT IT - PANDAS FOR EXAMPLE. WHO CARES IF WE LOSE A PARTICULAR SPECIES?" Even his fellow panellists looked a trifle alarmed at this! So when you take your kids to see the exhibitions at wildscreen@bristol with their popular commitment to sustainability and conserving endangered species, just remember that the corporate boffins who run the show have a completely different agenda waxing enthusiastically about forthcoming extinction of the PANDA and other species. That @bristol - FINANCED BY OUR MONEY - is taking sponsorship from multi- national scumbags such as NESTLE and RTZ is bad enough. But last week's biodiversity rigged debate sounded like the Nazi eugenicists on a survival of the fittest rampage - AGAIN ALL PAID FOR BY US! The actions inside and outside (buy that fire alarm rapscallion a pint!) showed that Bristolians are fast getting fed-up with the corporate takeover of our city in all its aspects and starting to fight back. BERINGER - YOU CORPORATE ARSELICKER - WE HAVE PASSED YOUR NAME ON TO THE PLF (PANDA LIBERATION FRONT) AS A SUB-SPECIES NO LONGER WORTHY OF SURVIVAL!

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YOU JUST WON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS: COUNCIL TO PRIVATISE PLANNING DEPT!
Bristol City Council is certainly keen on Blair's "third way" (that's where you take any public service you can find and flog it off to the biggest crowd of corporate tossers you can find). Not content with their current planning policy of letting any corporate fucker build anything they like anywhere they like, their latest idea is to get rid of themselves altogether and put the Planning Department out to tender and let the corporations make their own planning decisions! Great idea. Let the corporations give themselves planning permission. No doubt it'll make the process a whole lot smoother and cheaper for them. Stewart Clark, the Council's Head of Customer Services, has written to private planning consultants asking whether as part of the Council's "Best Value" policy they would be interested in taking over the work of the Council's Planning Department based in Brunel House. This radical privatising move is described in the letter as "outsourcing"! Planning consultants, of course, are used by developers, such as Crest Nicholson, to get the best chance of obtaining planning permission and often present appeals against Council planning decisions. So that perfectly qualifies them to work on our behalf then, doesn't it?! What next? Social Services sold to Group 4 Security? Perhaps the tobacco industry could take over our health services (in fact, the Council has already privatised its own security guard service!).

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localnews4us@yahoo.co.uk
- e-mail: localnews4us@yahoo.co.uk
- Homepage: http://www.bristolian.freeservers.com/

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