The real secret of the universe is contained not in a Harry Potter book but in the Charlie Parker saxophone solo on take 1 of 'This is Always' recorded on Wednesday February 19th 1947 at the C P McGregor Studios, Western Avenue Hollywood, USA

Prince Charles discovers sons hash pipe


Prince Charles had to have a word with young Harry after palace staff brought to his attention some very red eyed corgi's indeed. Harry subsequently admitted to having given them blow-backs without their explicit consent.
Prince charles talked to Harry about drugs for a full 5 minutes before realising he didn't actually know very much about them and his son seemed to have learned a lot more about them from the talk of his friends than from his education. Charles then did what any man of learning would do. He took his son to a drugs clinic as people there would know a lot more about them. There warnings of the dangers of addictive and lethal drugs were listened to attentively but nothing could shift his opinion on cannabis until a clinical assistant pointed out that now the nickname 'Harry Potter' would be likely to follw him to his grave. This was said to have had a very sobering effect on the wayward young man.
When asked Prince Charles said he felt he had done the right thing by seeking informed advice. The only thing Charles had initially been able to advise were: "Don't do drugs, drugs are bad" and "The architecture of the smoking device appears to be of a sturdy and a functional nature for something constructed out of tinfoil, an empty toilet roll tube and some sticky back plastic but next time try building a hookah device so as to water cool the smoke prior to inhalation. Oh my God, what am I saying..."

The philosopher's stoned at Club H, the hip an' happening, right royal rave.

....the intrepid young Harry, kept in the dark about his reptilian and satanic heritage by Grandpa Philip and Grandma Elizabeth, and unaware of the part played in his mother's death by the evil Windsormort, finds his true self by boarding the Hashworts express...