Where is Osama bin Laden? He and President Bush may seem like mortal enemies, but it’s all a cover! Actually, they are corporate partners. I mean, did anyone notice that whenever Bush went into the bunker, Mr. Laden resurfaced? Or that when Osama vanished, the president took the spotlight?
  Early on, President Bush said he wanted this big cheese terrorist, dead or alive. But then, somehow Osama bin Laden “escaped” Tora Bora with his dialysis machine tied to the camel behind him. Right? Wrong. While his fighters were distracted, US Special Ops got him out on a helicopter. He was flown into Pakistan, where he met with Musharraf, and Bush, along with their CEO, Omar, over a fig dinner. They hooked up via satellite with Hussein of Iraq, and Prime Minister Blair of England. The agenda? They discussed the matter of Monopolizing Profits on the Global War against Terrorism, and why tea drinkers throughout the Middle East are improbable prospects for Coca Cola sales.
  Where did I learn all this? On the Internet of course! It was late, and I was a little bored in need of some good entertainment. I met this guy who went by “·/|/|·,” on an Internet newsgroup. He said he knew all about the Bush/bin Laden partnership. “·/|/|·” said he was sitting on a couch at Hussein’s palace, watching Friends, when the TV switched to the live Satellite feed. “Imagine if you can,” he wrote, “seeing Bush sitting beside Bin Laden, and I’m listening in as the king says, ‘Don’t worry, Mr. President, all we must do is tell the foolish masses that Coca Cola is a tea made from the Coca leaf, and I assure you, they will buy it!’”
  ·/|/|· learned the details of the Bush/bin Laden partnership. He said when the US forces assisted the Afghan fighters back in the 80’s, to overthrow the then-Soviets, the then-President Bush, Sr. offered Mr. Laden a proposal, at his home in Saudi Arabia. “You see, Mr. Laden sympathized with the Afghan freedom fighters—the Afghan Mujahadeen (holy warriors). So an emissary from your president (along with emissaries from the United Kingdom, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and China), seeing how this rich engineer might fit into the Big Plan, tells him, ‘You go in there, we’ll protect you. Whatever you bring into the deal, we’ll match it DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR’.”
  Mr. Laden shed his suit and tie, and voila! Osama bin Laden! Phase One of the Big Plan had begun. The US trained his troops, provided weapons while bin Laden built roads and warehoused munitions in caves. “And as we now know,” said ·/|/|·, “the Mujahadeen beat the Soviets out of Afghanistan, and taking power, many of these joined the Taliban.”
  “Phase Two was a little more complicated. George Bush, Sr. and Co., asked Mr. Bin Laden to invite more Saudi’s into Afghanistan, to train in the same techniques the CIA had used to train the Mujahadeen. The object, through brainwashing techniques, was to convince them that whatever sacrifice they made, was for Allah.
  “But then,” ·/|/|· continued, “there was a serious problem. The Bush (bin Laden) partnership was compromised. William Jefferson Clinton, a man who seemed more concerned about global justice than making the entire globe into an American theme park, won the next election. The Free Masons of the world were furious!
  “Monica was planted along with a special, blue dress. His fall for a young woman, however, didn’t finish Bill Clinton as was expected. But with George W. Bush could avenge him for his father, and with his younger brother turning back thousands of black people from the election booths in Florida, he won the presidency.
  “Freedom, due process? Forget it! There were far greater things at stake! With another Bush installed (a clone couldn’t have done better), everything was ripe for Phase Three. The young Saudi’s by now, were trigger happy in the US suburbs, insane with hatred for the US. They were called into action.
  “George W. was planted innocently in a school classroom, informing children about American values when the call came through. On time. The new president stopped enroute to D.C., just to take the message from Mr. Laden, 'The job is finished. Pay up.'
  “You don’t believe me? They are two sides of the same coin! Why else would the Saudi pilot have hit the one side of the Pentagon that was not in use? And the casualties in Manhatten? What is killing a few thousand people trying to live for their next payday, but the price of the New World Order? A small sacrifice.
  'The Big Plan would start to unravel. There would be investigations into the ‘voting irregularities’ in Florida. And for the invasion? Eventually it would get out that the FBI knew all along what was in the works, and that the president was regularly briefed about it!
  “But Bush would remain America’s most popular president! As the false alarms are sounded, one after another, you stupid Americans will never see the truth. You will never get it, that it is you who are being treated like terrorists as you are wiretapped and scanned, made to take your shoes off at your airports while the rich are quietly escorted to the front of the lines.”
  “Why?” I asked. “Why would Bush do this?”
  “This way the Bush dynasty, funded (and may I add, MATCHED DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR), may consolidate their empire. Next, and you just wait, they will blow up a big bridge or something like it, just to prove to you that the terrorists are real.”
  "My God,” I replied, typing frantically, “Clinton’s vast Republican conspiracy is nothing beside this one!”
  “That was just a side show,” replied ·/|/|·. “And do you want to know where Mr. Laden is?”
  “Yea.”
  “After he was airlifted out of Tora Bora and given safe passage to Pakistan, he went on retreats to such places as Hawaii, disguised as tall executive, courtesy of the US taxpayer. I have also heard that for awhile he was given sanctuary at the White House, and slept regularly in the Lincoln Bedroom.” At this point, ·/|/|· left me with a :) and I went to bed. You don’t believe it? You had better, because I found it on the Internet!

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