In the run up to the Rio+10 'Earth Summit' in Johannesburg in August, at midday on 15th July, there was a special service of union between corporate big business and the United Nations. Dubbed an unholy alliance by many, the ceremony was disrupted by enraged security guards

Their blossoming romance began at the Rio earth summit 10 years ago. That conference saw delegates from all over the world gather to discuss environmental and social issues, such as poverty, pollution and biodiversity loss. Although high hopes were held for the conference, it is widely accepted to have been a failure, primarily due to the lobbying efforts of the Business Council for Sustainable Development (now the World Business Council for Sustainable Development).

Since Rio, environmental degradation, biodiversity erosion and habitat destruction have continued apace, poverty and inequity have increased and climate change remains untackled. In other words, it has been pretty much "business as usual" for the multinationals. This year big business intends to see to it that it stays that way. The key aims of big business in Johannesburg are to avoid international regulation of corporations and to increase trade liberalisation.

It seems however, that big business has managed to convince the UN that it has fundamentally changed in recent years. Armed with some heart warming examples of voluntary initiatives undertaken by big business, presented in sponsored sections of major international newspapers, adverts in glossy magazines, on corporate websites and also in a virtual exhibition (www.virtualexhibition.net) on TV screens all over Johannesburg, business intends to show that it is "part of the solution".

This wedding is the first of several events that will culminate in a Global Day of Action Against a Corporate UN on 31st Aug. 2002.

For more info see: www.aseed.net
or email:  earthsummit02@yahoo.co.uk

The Wedding March (congregation please be upstanding)

Vicar: Dearly beloved we are gathered here today on this joyful occasion to witness the joining in holy matrimony of the United Nations with Corporate Big Business. Now it is no secret that these two have been shacked up together for some time, but now they have decided to make their union official. And so they stand today on the cusp of what we hope will be a long and happy life together. I will now ask you in turn to take the wedding vows. Do you the United Nations take Corporate Big Business to be your lawfully wedded husband?

United Nations: I do.

Vicar: Do you promise to love his vast wealth, honour and obey his every whim, in your desperation for funding and a little inward investment and to lax labour and environmental standards to please him? To massage his environmental ego manipulate his figures so that he seems more responsible than he really is? For better, for much, much, much worse, for richer corporations, for poorer democratic control, in sickness and in healthy dividends for shareholders and forsaking all commitment to independent democracy for as long as the world will put up with you?

United Nations: I do…

Vicar: Do you corporate big business take the United Nations to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Corporate Big Business: I do…

Vicar: Do you promise to…

Corporate Big Business: Whoaa Whoaa, promise, I mean promise that’s a big commitment… (looking uncomfortable), no-one told me I had to promise anything.

Vicar: Well I must ask you to make some promises.

Corporate Big Business: (Looking shifty) Oh, I don’t know, promises can’t we settle for a voluntary non-binding agreement? Oh but hey (smiles broadly and crosses his fingers behind his back) Hey well yeah, why not, I make promises all the time…sure I’ll promise…

Vicar: Very Well, do you promise to love, plundering her money and resources, to honour no agreements you’ve every made and to cherish the influence that you exert over her, and the decisions she makes for your benefit. For better more elaborate social functions, for worse corruption, for richer corporations, for poorer people everywhere. In making money out of sickness, and out of healthcare. And forsaking all morality for as long as it is financially beneficial for you to do so.

Corporate Big Business: I do.

Vicar: Before we proceed, I must ask that if anyone present knows of any just cause or impediment why these two rogues should not be joined in holy matrimony (and god knows I can think of plenty just off the top of my head), then speak now or forever suffer the consequences and don’t say I didn’t try to warn you…(pause) very well, I duly pronounce you man and wife…You may pass the bribe.
(Corporate Big Business and the UN kiss the bribe and look fondly into one and other’s eyes)

Vicar: We wish the happy couple every happiness as they begin their married life together.
Couple walk off and congregation throw rice and confetti. Audience make the sound of bells.