FOR WIDE DISTRIBUTION.

I'm deeply touched by that warm and generous welcome. That's more than I deserve and more than I'm used to quite frankly. It is reassuring that I can depend on the Labour party to so warmly welcome an unrepentant war criminal. I will reward you with the usual contempt with which I hold you and the British public.

It has been an eventful and exciting year. I will start by discussing My visit to the US Congress to receive My Congressional Gold Medal. I wonder if you can better the sixteen or seventeen standing ovations that I received that day.
(applause)

I was ever so pleased to receive the medal from the American people and My very good friend President Bush. It was awarded as a reward for My unstinting and unthinking support for Dubya's wars fought under the pretext of defeating terrorism.
(applause, leading to standing ovation)

It is clear that the bellicose Bush administration had plans to invade Afghanistan and Iraq well before the 911 terrorist attacks and that they repeatedly lied - just as I and My administration has done on their behalf - and used 911 as the pretext for illegal invasion and occupation. We did it quite simply because decisive action - the "hard-man" image - impresses the electorate. There was absolutely no benefit beyond that and many disadvantages.

Bush relies on the lie that has served as the official justification for the Bush administration's policies - both foreign and domestic - for the past two years: that war abroad, attacks on democratic rights at home and the destruction of social conditions for millions of American workers are all the necessary byproduct of a global struggle against imminent terrorist threats.

In the illegal war against Iraq, this lie is expressed in the claim that the regime of Saddam Hussein bore responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks. Previously, this assertion was linked to charges that the Iraqi regime had massive stockpiles of chemical, biological and possibly even nuclear weapons, posing the threat that the next terrorist attack would be signaled by a "mushroom cloud." After five months of searches by thousands of US troops have failed to turn up a trace of such weapons, the administration has fallen back on exploiting the trauma of September 11.

Speaking from the White House in September, Bush made no less than six references to the September 11 attacks, repeatedly asserting that the bloodshed in Iraq is necessary to prevent new terrorist actions. "Since America put out the fires of September 11, and mourned our dead, and went to war, history has taken a different turn," declared Bush. "We have carried the fight to the enemy. We are rolling back the terrorist threat to civilization, not on the fringes of its influence, but at the heart of its power."

Later he added: "We are fighting the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan today so that we do not meet him again on our own streets, in our own cities," Bush declared.

There is no evidence whatsoever that the Iraqi regime had anything to do with September 11, and its relations with Al Qaeda were characterized by mutual hatred. The thousands of Iraqi civilians and many thousands, if not tens of thousands, more Iraqi soldiers killed by American missiles, bombs and shells bore no guilt for the 3,000 American lives lost two years ago.

Moreover, the plans to carry out wars of conquest against both Iraq and Afghanistan were in place well before September 2001, with the Bush administration seizing upon the attacks as a golden opportunity to carry out these plans. The motivation for these wars was neither terrorism nor weapons of mass destruction, but the pursuit of US global hegemony and the opportunity to seize control of vast energy supplies.

All of this is well known by the media. Yet the president is free to lie and exploit the trauma of September 11 to promote what is quite literally a criminal policy. He has no fear that a servile American press corps will call him to account.

The administration is building new lies on top of old ones, attempting to exploit the misconceptions that it has itself created in the public mind in order to deceive the American people once again.

Bush's speech was delivered just days after the release of a Washington Post poll showing that 69 percent of the American people believe that the regime of Saddam Hussein had a hand in the September 11 attacks. The paper acknowledged that there was no evidence of such a link and quoted Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, one of the main architects of the war, as saying so.

Yet, the source of this misconception is no mystery. In the months leading up to the invasion of Iraq there was a constant drumbeat from the administration that just such links existed. As the AFP news agency noted: "On Sept. 25, 2002 Bush warned against the danger that "al-Qaeda becomes an extension of Saddam's madness." National Security Counselor Condoleezza Rice added that there "clearly are contacts between al-Qaeda and Iraq." The next day Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said there was "bulletproof evidence" of an Al-Qaeda-Saddam link."

Now the administration is attempting to portray the daily attacks on US troops in Iraq as a positive development, claiming that it represents some kind of final battle between the US-sponsored "peace and progress" and the "terrorist threat to civilization."

Those on the ground in Iraq have been far more circumspect about the source of the attacks on US troops, as well as the recent string of massive car bombings. It is widely recognized that Iraqi workers and youth are joining the resistance movement not out of allegiance to Al Qaeda or Baathism, but because they are determined to free their country from foreign military domination. Demonstrations by many thousands of Iraqis demanding an end to occupation have likewise made it evident that those carrying out the attacks are able to do so because they enjoy the support and protection of broad layers of the population.

In essence, the administration is attempting to sell a bloody colonial war to the American public as a settling of accounts with the authors of September 11. Bush's portrayal of anyone who opposes US military occupation as a "terrorist" sets the stage politically for a brutal military crackdown that will claim many more Iraqi lives and ensure even broader support for those who resist.

While the lies of the White House about Iraq provide no insight into the dynamics of the escalating struggle there, they say a great deal about the state of affairs within the US itself. A government that is able to defend its policies before the people only through falsification and deception is a regime of extreme crisis. And, to the extent that it is founded on these deliberate lies, whatever public support exists for the continuing Iraqi intervention is paper-thin.

More fundamentally, the domination of the lie as the currency of US political life calls into question the viability of American democracy itself. Underlying this practice is the vast gulf that separates the narrow strata of millionaires and billionaires that dominate both major political parties in the US, and the vast majority of working people who are, for all intents and purposes, politically disenfranchised.

In Iraq, Washington has carried out a criminal campaign of military aggression aimed at seizing wealth and natural resources to benefit a wealthy elite and increase the profits of a small group of politically connected corporations promised oil concessions and lucrative contracts. Yet it promotes this filthy enterprise to the public as a battle for democracy and freedom for which it should sacrifice the lives of its young and surrender increasingly scarce public monies to finance a gargantuan military budget.

A government that is prepared to lie on the scale that has been seen with the Bush administration in relation to Iraq is prepared to do anything. Nearly two years after the September 11 attacks, it continues to cloak the events of that day in a veil of official secrecy, insisting that to release even minimal information would compromise "national security."

There is ample evidence, assembled and published most recently in a column in the British Guardian - and rigorously blacked out by the US media - by former British cabinet member Michael Meacher that the administration had ample forewarning of the terrorist attacks and welcomed them as a means of pushing through its longstanding plans for war.

The question raised by Meacher "whether elements within the administration ordered a "stand-down" of US intelligence and the military to permit a terrorist action to take place and thereby provide the pretext for war" is one that must be fully investigated.

You will be well aware of My lies and the lies of My main spokespeople if you have been paying any attention at all. The big one was that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction - that was our excuse for the murder of thousands of innocent civilians. Then there were others - that the weapons were capable of use within 45 minutes, that there was an imminent threat to British interests, that it was not a war for oil or imperialist interests, that I was "emphatically not" involved in the decision to out Dr. Kelly, that it is a war against terrorism, etc, etc. I actually said in my speech to the US Congress "We know that Iraq under Saddam gave haven to and supported terrorists." Trust Me, we told so many lies that I cannot 'honestly' remember them all.

It may be somewhat unfair to describe these as lies, and we in New Labour have a different understanding. You see, we do not lie - as My good friend and liar Peter Mandelson said "I am not a liar. I did not lie". We, in New Labour, we prefer Mandy's phraseology that we are "creating the truth". You see, we believe, I believe, that I have a divine mission to cast My stamp on history and that if lies, duplicity and deception are necessary to support My master Bush, then so be it. We are not "lying", we are creating the truth, creating a new world order and it is our, My destiny that put Me in this place in history, in this moment in time, and the task is Mine to do. It is My destiny to follow My master Bush into the rapture. This is why we threatened to use nucear weapons in the criminal Iraq war.

Since we are creating the truth rather than lying, you will understand My dogged persistence in the lie that weapons of mass destruction will eventually be discovered despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. If I persist with this lie, it will eventually come true. It's always worked in the past. It's worse than you think - I really do believe it. I believe (pause) that I can create the truth.
(applause leading to standing ovation).

To be 'honest', spin or - if you must use the term "lying" - is central to the New Labour philosophy. New Labour is based centrally on lies and duplicity. Do you not remember the number of times we have been caught out before? None of them were as serious as the war lies that led us to unprovoked and criminal wars against defenceless countries of course, but I suppose that you must have just got so used to our lies that you just didn't notice them any more. Lies have been part of Labour since the days of opposition in Millbank. Excalibur and rapid rebuttal are all to do with lying and deception. Then there are the gagging orders on MPs and MEPs designed to ensure that they are "on-message" - to control the lies that we propogate. Surely you must have noticed how My spokespeople are tutored, prepared before appearing for a few days until their message is stale?
(pause for applause)

There was the "crap", "a complete joke", "a load of old baloney", there was the tobacco advertising, the Queen Mother's funeral, Cheriegate. That was when we realised that we could get away with "creating the truth" as much as we liked. Is it any wonder that we hold the British public, parliament and the world community in such contempt? Then there was the "unreasonable Security Council resolution", the war was justified by earlier UN resolutions. Washington had plans, far in advance, to exploit Iraqi oil, and these have been implemented. We make up numbers - nobody challenges them. We create the truth and you fools still stick by Me.
(applause followed by standing ovation, pause for 15 secs, continue)

The Bush administration was compelled to lie about its motives for invading Iraq because the real reasons would have provoked overwhelming popular opposition. These reasons had been laid out by the principal figures in the Bush administration - most of them veterans of the earlier administration of Bush Sr. - months before the 2000 election.

Written in September 2000, a document issued by the Project for a New Century, the Republican think tank that served as a sort of administration-in-waiting during the Clinton years, spelled out the genuine rationale for a war on Iraq. Titled, "Rebuilding America's Defenses: Strategies, Forces and Resources for a New Century," the document declared that the US would have to assume military control of the Persian Gulf region, whether or not the Iraqi regime posed a threat.

It stated: "The United States has for decades sought to play a more permanent role in Gulf regional security. While the unresolved conflict with Iraq provides the immediate justification, the need for a substantial American force presence in the Gulf transcends the issue of the regime of Saddam Hussein."

Control of the Gulf and its oil resources, the document added, was necessary "for maintaining global US pre-eminence, precluding the rise of a great power rival, and shaping the international security order in line with American principles and interests."

The document largely recycled conceptions put forward in a 1992 Pentagon strategy document drafted by Paul Wolfowitz, currently deputy secretary of defense, and I. Lewis Libby, Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, when the two were aides to then-defense secretary Cheney. It envisioned the control of Persian Gulf oil as part of an "American grand strategy" that would "discourage advanced industrial nations from challenging our leadership or even aspiring to a larger regional or global role."

Thus the war was planned and executed to further the designs of a section of the US ruling class for global hegemony. It was aimed not just against the Saddam Hussein regime in Iraq, but at Europe, China, Japan and any other power that could conceivably challenge US world domination.

Let me move on to the row with the BBC which resulted in the Hutton enquiry. The inquiry has served as a distraction from the main issues of the criminal war and our support for international gangsterism. It is an effort to hide the forest with one tree - using the controversy over a single incident to obscure the fact that the entire case for war was a lie.

You see, we in New Labour are fully involved in media manipulation and setting the agenda. We regard the BBC as our mouthpiece and usually manage to exert a far higher level of control. It's support was generally good initially - basically they repeated our lies without question - but we could not countenance coverage that had moved into full betrayal mode. We regard the BBC as a downmarket, dumbed-down, over-staffed, over-bureaucratic, ridiculous organisation. We are working on the State Broadcasting Corporation and it will soon toe the line again.
(applause)

Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell made explicit the threat to the BBC when she warned that the judicial inquiry by Lord Hutton into Kelly's death could impact on a forthcoming review of the BBC charter. On July 25, she told the Times, "I will consider very carefully any recommendations and conclusions which can be drawn from the Hutton Inquiry in relation to the BBC. Trust is important for public institutions and the government... It is important that broadcasters and the wider media continue to show that they are worthy of that trust."

Media Select Committee chairman Gerald Kaufman MP said of Gilligan's report, "The way this story has been pursued by the BBC and endorsed by the board of governors raises the most profound questions about the nature of the BBC as a public sector, public service, publicly-funded organisation."

He hinted that the regulatory role of the BBC's Board of Governors should be taken over by the government's newly created media regulation body, Ofcom.

So, you see, the BBC, the State Broadcasting Corporation will soon be back on course, toeing the line and distributing our lies and propoganda.
(applause leading to standing ovation)

Just recently, you may have caught in the media stories that I, and My government, will change. That we will start listening and there was even a line we spun about a "fairness test". You should realise, of course, that this is all nonsense just like our talks with the unions at number ten a few weeks ago. We are desperate. Brown's speech yesterday appealed to core Labour values. What we are doing is simply spinning a line, feeding you the normal bullshit.

Any fairness test will be decided according to our values and we share the values of the American administration. We are extreme right-wing Christian fundamentalists pursuing a Neo-Conservative imperialist crusade. We are New Labour - not old Labour - and we continue the policies of Thatcher. The word Labour is a hang-over from a previous, has-been era which is simply useful for our purpose of deception - there are many voters out there who instinctively vote Labour and who haven't realised that we abandoned all that nonsense long ago. We are not socialists and never have been.
(applause)

I have told you before that ideology is dead. We believe in the Market all the way. Markets in health care, markets in education, the market will determine all relationships, there is no such thing as society, ideology is dead. We believe in the power of the market in determining relationships in every possible sphere. We adore wealth and power and will whore ourselves, anyone and everything we can to wealth and power.

We will pretend to listen. But be certain of this. The lady is not for turning! We will listen but we are not going to pay any attention. We will continue with our bold programme of market-driven restructuring and subservience to the States and its imperialist ambitions.

Indeed, it may be argued, that we have abandoned our sovereignty to the States and in many ways the European and Euro debates are redundant. We follow American policies. I obediently do as I am told - acting as the States' foreign minister - and we have co-operate closely in our spin and lies since Clinton's administration and the Kosovo campaign. We are not able to go to war without US authority and they control huge tracts of our land for use by their war machine. I am a traitor to Britain - we have committed to the States' use of Britain in its Star-Wars initiative and our most recent war results in greater threats to Britain and British interests without any discernible benefits. Britain will pay for My trechery through higher taxes, poorer services and possibly much more severe consequences.

We used the classic methods of propoganda in this war on truth and justice. We pursued and doggedly stuck with the big lie, we developed a credible scapegoat that depended on and exploited baser racist ideology, we mostly had a compliant and subservient media on our side and we very nearly got away with it. What we didn't count on was that there are actually people in this world that do things which are against their own interests. They do things for the common good or for justice for people that they do not know and will never meet. We are not used to this - we cannot understand people acting against their own interests or for purposes other than the pursuit of profit or power. I suspect that these may be the traditional Socialist principles of equality, internationalism, humanity, democracy and justice for all. I have never - and never will - understand these concepts or these people.

We have implemented and used severe anti-terrorist legislation against anti-war demonstrators. In fact, anyone that organises against Me or My policies or damages property in any way is a Terrorist. We used excessive anti-terrorist legislation against three coach-fulls of demonstrators travelling to Fairford, against the Fairford peace camp and, more recently, against the DSEI demonstrators in London. We did this despite promising that we would not use this legislation against 'legitimate' political dissent in this way. Blunkett was not particularly bothered by it though. He's come on really well recently. I remember some of those awful speeches he used to make - I actually remember wondering whether he was one of those pinko socialists. We will soon be implementing hugely intrusive surveillance laws under the guise of anti-terrorism as has already been done in the States.

We in New Labour are intensely anti-democratic. You will notice My insistence that the House of Lords will be wholly appointed and the hugely centralised, presidential style that I impose on My party. Then of course there is the "unreasonable Security council veto" and our willingness to participate in an illegal war without UN authority.

You should realise by now that nobody trusts me and that I am a huge liability to the Labour party. If there was any justice in this world, I would be tried and convicted for crimes against humanity. There is a real tangiable hatred of Me at home and abroad. Nobody is going to elect us into government with Me as your leader and it is likely to get worse. If I had any honour or dignity I would have resigned ages ago when I was first rumbled. In some ways this coincides with My purpose since I am keen to see the death of socialism and have made My ugly mark on history.

I started this speech by referring to the award of My Congressional Gold medal and I will now return to that immensely enjoyable occasion. I stated in My acceptence speech that "September the 11th was not an isolated event, but a tragic prologue, Iraq another act, and many further struggles will be set upon this stage before it's over." I also said "There is no more dangerous theory in international politics than that we need to balance the power of America with other competitive powers; different poles around which nations gather."

I am playing "follow the leader" and I expect you, the Labour party, to play "follow the leader" in your turn. Most of my team of suckers actually do this despite knowing Me and My ways far better lately. We will follow the States in their stated intention of further invasion and occupations, their further pre-emptive and unprovoked attacks and their intent to totally dominate the world. I promise you that we will continue with our lies and deception in the pursuit of this divine purpose.

Thank you, fools, and may God continue to bless America.
(applause leading to standing ovation, allow 5 mins, leave stage and conference)



NOTES TO EDITORS

In the finest tradition of the current Labour government, huge tracts of this document have been plaguarised from the internet without explicit recognition. I used a search engine.