The Buckingham Palace postie delivered an extra special parcel this morning. A clear Perspex box containing a delicious Tarte au Citron was delivered to the Queen by special delivery, courtesy of the Biotic Baking Brigade.
The Queen, who is known to have already had a tart verbal exchange with George W the last time they met, is rumoured to be especially peeved that she will have to miss her favorite soap opera, Coronation Street, in order to endure an evening with the banal Bushes.
The confection, made with organic cream, lemons, eggs and sugar, was cooked on Monday evening.
Agente Crème Brulée commented ‘Liz is known for her acid wit, hence the lemons, while the other ingredients will allow George to realise that this trip has left egg on his face, even if he is largely sheltered from the massive protests at his policies and his presence in Britain. Liz has always been known (and often criticised) as an active sporting woman, and we’re sure that she’ll find pie projection much more fruitful and fulfilling than her previous hobbies. Considering the amount of bores, idiots and imbeciles she regularly comes into contact with, she may well become a prolific pie-er. We’re sure that she’ll take to it like a duck to water.’
‘I should imagine she realises that there are many pressing and serious reasons why she should dissolve the monarchy and give up such an inequitable life of privilege, but having to entertain a plonker like Bush, when she could be watching Corrie in comfy slippers with a nice cuppa must really bring it home to her that life would be much better if everybody was equal. Apparently she won’t be able to video the episode as the US security measures have disrupted TV reception at the palace. That really takes the biscuit! I wouldn’t want a bloke like him in my house for all the tea in China and a years supply of French patisserie.’
Obviously Liz hasn’t had any training in perfect pie propulsion, so the tart comes complete with a booklet on its dimensions; circumference, diameter and radius. In order to ensure that Bush is a sitting target, the booklet suggests that she explains that the circumference equals pie r squared...while Bush, who is not reputed to be the brightest button, works out why she is telling him that the confection is more rectangular than round, she can take a perfect aim.
Agente Honey Comb