Skip to content or view mobile version

Home | Mobile | Editorial | Mission | Privacy | About | Contact | Help | Security | Support

A network of individuals, independent and alternative media activists and organisations, offering grassroots, non-corporate, non-commercial coverage of important social and political issues.

Hidden Article

This posting has been hidden because it breaches the Indymedia UK (IMC UK) Editorial Guidelines.

IMC UK is an interactive site offering inclusive participation. All postings to the open publishing newswire are the responsibility of the individual authors and not of IMC UK. Although IMC UK volunteers attempt to ensure accuracy of the newswire, they take no responsibility legal or otherwise for the contents of the open publishing site. Mention of external web sites or services is for information purposes only and constitutes neither an endorsement nor a recommendation.

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR BUM AFTER A #2, ISLAMIC STYLE

Hamid al Roid | 24.03.2004 08:52 | Repression | London | World

religious instruction pertaining to post #2 cleanliness

ISLAMIC BATHROOM LAWS
one must sit on the toilet not facing the Holy Kabeh in Mecca, also not to show his Moameleh (tools) towards the Mecca in Saudi Arabia, cause showing your Haji Koochike or schlong towards Mecca is Haram (Religiously Forbidden), however if sitting down towards Mecca & showing your Shoombool towards it while doing number two or one, yet covering it with your hands while doing your business, is Macrooh (Religiously not recommended, yet fine). It is also not OK to turn your back to Mecca while taking a dump! It is not polite to show your Anus to House of Allah! so technically one should first find out in what direction is Mecca, it all depends that where you are taking the dump in the world!
If you are in San Diego for instance, you need to know not to face the South East nor back to the South East while Shiiting all over the bathroom! Other wise it might be Macrooh even Haram (Religiously forbidden)! So if you want to take a Halal (Religiously OK) dump, you need to study & know your Geography of the bathroom, which you are about to take the dump in! Now all this is fine, but what if you are vacationing or in a Foreign land, or city?! You need to somehow know the Geography of the Toilet!
I guess Ayatollah means that all should carry a compass or Thomas Guide Map Book, before entering a strange bathroom! Do not worry about the toilet paper, or soap or water, yet make sure that you got your compass & map when visiting a strange toilet!
Then The Great Saint of Islam, Imam Holy Khomeini, continues about the way to wash the Ass Islamic way!
He expands that when taking the dump & ready to wash your Ass, either with the Aftabeh (Islamic Toilet Pitcher) full of water, or a Water Hose connected to the wall (modern Ass Wash), one must first make sure that he caresses his hand movements from the back of the Ass between the Ass Cheeks towards the front until he hits the balls! Cause if he does this gentle movement vise versa, he might not properly clean himself & take pieces of Doodoo to the back area of the buns! And the wrong method might not truly clean the between cheeks area therefore, if he does prayer (Salat) later, the prayer will not be true, & it might become false (Batel)!
Also when holding the toilet pitcher with one hand & washing your Hiney with the other one, you need to make sure that first you must use "The Middle Finger" & for sure recommended to stick 2/3 of your middle finger (Do Sols) in your butt hole, three or so times & then cress your between butt cheeks forward towards your balls three times!
2/3 of the middle finger, then with full hand rubbing towards the front area between your butt is crucial religiously! If not, your cleaning, Ghosl (Islamic shower), or Vozu (Wash before prayer) or Taharat (Islamic Butt Wipe) will not be done properly therefore, your prayer might end up being False (Batel), so you shall read it again!
OK now imagine a few things:
By the time a good Muslim in a foreign Land studies the Geography of the Bathroom & the angle of the toilet in relation to Mecca, his number two or number one might go up & he might not even have to nor can go any more! Or worst, he might dirty his pants & underwear!
Then there is the issue with 2/3 of the middle finger! Imagine sticking that much finger in your butt holio, everytime you go to bathroom! Boy, one can become Gay by sticking them fingers up & down his rectum! He might actually like it, you know, men have prostate there & it is gentle, why do you think Gays enjoy doing it that way so much!? Hey no wonder all the holy Tolab students, Hojatol Eslams, & Ayatollah's are all in to homosexual Activities, it is all according to The Book!
See people, I bet with you, if the Great Saint & Martyr of Islam, The Great Shit, Oops I mean The Great Shiite, Ayatollah Khomeini would have only talked half of what he mentioned about Sex with Under Aged Girls & Children, How to Repair Children's Damaged & not fully grown Vaginas, how sodomizing little girls in the butt is Halal but in small vagina is not, how to enter, sit, dump, & clean your Ass in the Bathroom, & on & on....... Now only if he would talk as half of all this only about The Economy, Society, Politics, Philosophy, etc. Maybe Iran, other Shiite Nations, & other Islamic Nations in middle east & north Africa would have not been so Screwed Up & Backwarded!
Only if the Great Saint Imam Khomeini would have talked a few chapters about Economical problems, instead of little girls poons & Guys Corn Hole & 2/3 finger issues, maybe Iran's Economy & Social Status would have been semi sufficient!
But then what do you expect from a group of Religious Mullahs of Uneducated & Horny Toads?! Did you possibly expect them to write about Actual Social Issues.
Just a thought, imagine A Founder of a new political or Social Ideology like Marx, Engels, Mussolini, Hitler, Adam Smith, Thomas Jefferson, or others would have talked about the issues that Khomeini talked about in their books! Imagine if Marx would have talk about how to wash Ass in German Society Proletariat Way!
Yes, my friends, these are the reasons that Europe is Europe, America is America, Japan is Japan, & United States is going to Land Human on Mars soon......
US is seeking salvation in "Space Exploration" for human's future ecological space & resources to live & survive, & then Iran is seeking salvation in "Rectum & 2/3 fingering the hole" or "Banging 9 year old girl's vagina the correct & Islamic way" according to joke of the books like Quran, Nahjol Balagheh, Resaleh, & etc.
Yes, my friends this is why the civilized world is going to the Mars & Iran is going to the Rectum! US is discovering the universe, expanding robotics, completing computer science, & Iran is concern about women covering their hair & legs with Chador & Hejab so the men will not get an instantaneous combustion of orgasmic climax & wet themselves! Lets spend half of the budget on buying used up Military junk from China & Russia & send the other half to Mullah's Bank Accounts in Swiss & lets see how fast can we Absolutely Screw Up & Deform, Degenerate, & Transform an Industrrial/Progressive Imperial Iran back to 14th century & to The Backwarded Islamic Iran?!
The Degeneration of a Nation, how fast & how long does it take, is 22 years enough to Destroy a Nation?! Or do we need to give Mullahs more time?!
This is the present Iran, thanks to Glory of Islam!

Hamid al Roid

Comments

Display the following 2 comments

  1. an outstanding contribution to world peace — *
  2. Pathetic — Timmy Mallet
Upcoming Coverage
View and post events
Upcoming Events UK
24th October, London: 2015 London Anarchist Bookfair
2nd - 8th November: Wrexham, Wales, UK & Everywhere: Week of Action Against the North Wales Prison & the Prison Industrial Complex. Cymraeg: Wythnos o Weithredu yn Erbyn Carchar Gogledd Cymru

Ongoing UK
Every Tuesday 6pm-8pm, Yorkshire: Demo/vigil at NSA/NRO Menwith Hill US Spy Base More info: CAAB.

Every Tuesday, UK & worldwide: Counter Terror Tuesdays. Call the US Embassy nearest to you to protest Obama's Terror Tuesdays. More info here

Every day, London: Vigil for Julian Assange outside Ecuadorian Embassy

Parliament Sq Protest: see topic page
Ongoing Global
Rossport, Ireland: see topic page
Israel-Palestine: Israel Indymedia | Palestine Indymedia
Oaxaca: Chiapas Indymedia
Regions
All Regions
Birmingham
Cambridge
Liverpool
London
Oxford
Sheffield
South Coast
Wales
World
Other Local IMCs
Bristol/South West
Nottingham
Scotland
Social Media
You can follow @ukindymedia on indy.im and Twitter. We are working on a Twitter policy. We do not use Facebook, and advise you not to either.
Support Us
We need help paying the bills for hosting this site, please consider supporting us financially.
Other Media Projects
Schnews
Dissident Island Radio
Corporate Watch
Media Lens
VisionOnTV
Earth First! Action Update
Earth First! Action Reports
Topics
All Topics
Afghanistan
Analysis
Animal Liberation
Anti-Nuclear
Anti-militarism
Anti-racism
Bio-technology
Climate Chaos
Culture
Ecology
Education
Energy Crisis
Fracking
Free Spaces
Gender
Globalisation
Health
History
Indymedia
Iraq
Migration
Ocean Defence
Other Press
Palestine
Policing
Public sector cuts
Repression
Social Struggles
Technology
Terror War
Workers' Movements
Zapatista
Major Reports
NATO 2014
G8 2013
Workfare
2011 Census Resistance
Occupy Everywhere
August Riots
Dale Farm
J30 Strike
Flotilla to Gaza
Mayday 2010
Tar Sands
G20 London Summit
University Occupations for Gaza
Guantanamo
Indymedia Server Seizure
COP15 Climate Summit 2009
Carmel Agrexco
G8 Japan 2008
SHAC
Stop Sequani
Stop RWB
Climate Camp 2008
Oaxaca Uprising
Rossport Solidarity
Smash EDO
SOCPA
Past Major Reports
Encrypted Page
You are viewing this page using an encrypted connection. If you bookmark this page or send its address in an email you might want to use the un-encrypted address of this page.
If you recieved a warning about an untrusted root certificate please install the CAcert root certificate, for more information see the security page.

Global IMC Network


www.indymedia.org

Projects
print
radio
satellite tv
video

Africa

Europe
antwerpen
armenia
athens
austria
barcelona
belarus
belgium
belgrade
brussels
bulgaria
calabria
croatia
cyprus
emilia-romagna
estrecho / madiaq
galiza
germany
grenoble
hungary
ireland
istanbul
italy
la plana
liege
liguria
lille
linksunten
lombardia
madrid
malta
marseille
nantes
napoli
netherlands
northern england
nottingham imc
paris/île-de-france
patras
piemonte
poland
portugal
roma
romania
russia
sardegna
scotland
sverige
switzerland
torun
toscana
ukraine
united kingdom
valencia

Latin America
argentina
bolivia
chiapas
chile
chile sur
cmi brasil
cmi sucre
colombia
ecuador
mexico
peru
puerto rico
qollasuyu
rosario
santiago
tijuana
uruguay
valparaiso
venezuela

Oceania
aotearoa
brisbane
burma
darwin
jakarta
manila
melbourne
perth
qc
sydney

South Asia
india


United States
arizona
arkansas
asheville
atlanta
Austin
binghamton
boston
buffalo
chicago
cleveland
colorado
columbus
dc
hawaii
houston
hudson mohawk
kansas city
la
madison
maine
miami
michigan
milwaukee
minneapolis/st. paul
new hampshire
new jersey
new mexico
new orleans
north carolina
north texas
nyc
oklahoma
philadelphia
pittsburgh
portland
richmond
rochester
rogue valley
saint louis
san diego
san francisco
san francisco bay area
santa barbara
santa cruz, ca
sarasota
seattle
tampa bay
united states
urbana-champaign
vermont
western mass
worcester

West Asia
Armenia
Beirut
Israel
Palestine

Topics
biotech

Process
fbi/legal updates
mailing lists
process & imc docs
tech