However this weekend the sunday papers topped the league of crazy creative writing with the headlines mentioned above and others like: "Medics Prepare For May Day Protests Bloodshed".
For these and other stories see:
TEXT EXCERPTS re "Arms Stash" + "Weapons Stockpile" + "Anarchist Bloodbath Plot"
Reprinted here for comment and analysis:
IRELAND ON SUNDAY 4 April 2004 page 2
MAY DAY ARMS STASH
Stockpiles of weapons have been stashed by anarchists at secret locations across Ireland in the run-up to the May Day celebrations.
On this occasion, no fewer than 25 EU heads of state will be here to mark the accession of 10 new member states. Ireland on Sunday, which has infiltrated the inner sanctums of shadowy anti-globalisation groups both here and in Britain, has discovered that the London-based protestors have been advised to buy their 'tools' - and the motorcycle helmets they use to hide their faces - in Ireland to avoid alerting security officials at our airports and ferry ports.
Notorious anarchy group the Wombles is one of the driving forces behind the campaign, and it has been in regular contact with similar groups in this country.
They first came here in February, when they met with a federation of left-wing, anti-globalisation groups in Cork. Further meetings have been held in Dublin, where the elaborate preparations for demonstrations and confrontations with the gardai have been finalised.
NEWS OF THE WORLD 4 April 2004 page 7
ANARCHIST ARMY PLOT BLOODBATH IN IRELAND
200 troops on standby Mayhem planned on the net Exclusive by Danny Conlon
A secret army of anarchists is drawing up plans to turn Ireland's May Day EU party into a bloody hell. In last week's News of the World, we reported that anarchist groups from across Europe are planning to descend on Dublin to wreak havoc.
But we can now reveal that another sinister threat lies closer to home. The anarchist group, Dublin Grassroots Network, has a blueprint for trouble which includes taunting inexperienced young gardai in front of TV cameras in a bid to provoke them into losing their tempers and using batons.
The anarchists believe they can win the public relations battle by claming that the gardai started the trouble. May Day is to be the high point of Ireland's EU presidency when 10 new countries will be welcomed into the organisation.
But senior garda officers predict that up to 1,000 people may be arrested in Dublin during the event. And an Irish News of the World internet investigation has shown that an Irish anarchist organiser calling himself Gurrier, Irish for a yob, claimed gardai will be overwhelmed by the numbers.
Gurrier said: "There are only about 11,000 gardai in the whole country and very few have any experience in handling militant protests. "They have a limited supply of riot geat and only half a dozen horses; they have very little in the way of hi-tech crowd control gear; they don't use gas or stun grenades of any of that nasty stuff."
And when it comes to arresting troublemakers, he advises that gardai will not be able to handle the job. "They would probably have serious logistical problems with mass arrests," he said.
And he claimed that gardai will not be willing to lay down the law because of recent events. He said: "They have been dogged by corruption and brutality scandals. This has meant that they have shied away from large scale attacks on protesters."
And although the Garda has refused to comment on security surrounding May 1, they are planning for the worst as elite troops from the Irish Defence Forces have been put on alert. The soldiers are being specially trained at an undisclosed location near the Curragh. A Defence Forces Spokesman said: "We will have about 200 soldiers on stand-by in case the gardai feel that the situation warrants it."
Meanwhile, Fianna Fail's Nial Ring had his office targeted recently by anarchist vandals. He said: "These signs are appearing all over the city. There is definitely a sinister undercurrent to them."
NEWS OF THE WORLD Editorial 4 April 2004
May Day thugs won't triumph
Anarchists have drawn up a secret plot to turn one of the most significant celebrations in Irish history into a potential bloodbath.
On May Day Ireland will play host as 10 new nations join the European Union - the biggest every expansion of the EU. No fewer than 25 European prime ministers will be in Dublin. But those who deal in chaos want to spoil what should be a joyous day.
The Irish News of the World has uncovered a plan to taunt and provoke the gardai into overreacting as they carry out crowd control duties. Anarchists are portraying them as a bunch of poorly equipped amateurs with no hope or experience of dealing with rioting yobs.
The truth is that An Garda Siochana has a long and proud history of dealing with whatever challenges come its way. People have a right to march and protest if they have concerns about the enlargement of Europe.
But these dangerous thugs have no principles and no beliefs other than to cause violence and disorder. If they get their way they will destroy a historic moment for Ireland and tarnish our image abroad .
It must be made clear to potential troublemakers that if they are found guilty of rioting and violence then only one thing awaits them. A lengthy jail sentence.