Saturday 16th October 2004
Midday, Adelaide Street, London W1 until 4pm, Piccadilly Circus
Civilise the City II marks the return of The Chap’s annual protest against vulgarity. Last year’s march saw thirty-or-so besuited fops infiltrating the West End’s many bastions of banality, such as Starbucks, McDonald’s and Gap, to request sophisticated items like Lapsang Souchong tea, kedgeree and a bespoke tailor.
This year, the march will commence at midday from the Oscar Wilde memorial on Adelaide Street, where a toast will be drunk to Mr Wilde’s birthday from the Chap’s hip flasks. The attendance at last year’s protest was greatly affected by an ungentlemanly early start on a weekday. This year’s march, beginning at midday on a Saturday, should entice both the languid and the employed of The Chap’s followers. The march will proceed up the Charing Cross Road, along the Oxford Street and down Regent Street to Piccadilly Circus, which will be declared a “Doffing Zone” for the day.
This means that anyone entering the area hatless or sporting unsuitable headwear will be gently offered assistance by The Chaps. Doffing instruction will be given by experts in the field, and those wearing baseball caps will be offered more dapper alternatives such as trilby, fedora and homburg.
Other demonstrations taking place in the Chap’s “Brogue Camp” will be an opportunity to sample the delights of leaf teas; how to get a lovely shine on your shoes (or how to dispose of your trainers in a safe manner); neckwear application – including the tying of cravats, ties and bow ties properly; moustache growing (please allow up to three years for this particular module); advanced hat doffing techniques (some 16 ‘difficult’ doffs will be covered). There will also be an all-inclusive module entitled The Practical Application of New Approaches to Chivalry to Help Everybody (or PANACHE)
Members of the public will be encouraged to take part in all the demonstrations, and The Chap hopes that by the end of the Brogue Camp (4pm, when we all retire for tea) at least some of our capital’s citizens and its visitors will have learned the rudiments of the arts of living graciously.
Participants in Civilise the City II are requested to attend dressed immaculately, sporting suitable headwear and a stout pair of leather shoes.
Further enquiries, please contact Gustav Temple on firstname.lastname@example.org