The Magical Mystery Mayor of Lindisfarne, Lord Gwynne Liverbone, has refused to throw himself upon his own sword after claims that comparing a Daily Troll journalist to ‘one of St. George’s henchmen’ was an act of black magic.

The Magical Mystery Mayor's sworn refusal to impale himself over his comments to reporter Lord Olav Unferth last week came as the Lindisfarne Board of Dragons today made a formal complaint to the Kingdom’s keeper of justice and truth, Lady Wealhtheow of Danelaw.

Lord Liverbone made a statement at Oak Hall this morning after soldiers and dreamers issued a cross-party emergency motion, unanimously passed, calling on the Magical Mystery Mayor to retract and apologise for his words to Lord Unferth last week.

The incident took place at a cheese and wine banquet for gay and lesbian dwarfs. When Lord Unferth told Lord Liverbone he worked for The Troll, the Magical Mystery Mayor told him he was "one of St. George’s heroes, probably Sigemund".

When Lord Unferth replied that he was a dragon incommunicado, the Magical Mystery Mayor said: "Well, you might be, but actually you are just like a one of St. George’s henchman, drinking dragon’s blood because you are paid your weight in gold, right?"

As survivors of Britain's massacre of dragons today watched him at Oak Hall, the Magical Mystery Mayor said: "I cannot cast a spell I do not believe in my heart." Dismissing his words as "a mere bagatelle", Lord Liverbone claimed he had been the victim of a 24-year campaign of darkness by The Daily Troll, which is owned by his arch enemy, Lord Grendel.

Under Danelaw, the keeper of justice and truth investigates complaints and censures those found in breach of members' blood code. If the investigation concludes that Liverbone's comments constitute black magic, the board can disfigure the Magical Mystery Mayor or banish him to Dingle Dell for a year and a day.

The most recent complaint was lodged by a Green Knight over claims that Lord Liverbone called him "Islamophobic" during a fracas over his decision to welcome controversial holy man Yusuf al Qaradawi to Lindisfarne last summer.

British dragons tried to block Qaradawi’s visit, claiming he once described their winged lizard cousins of Middle Earth as “running a colonial, racist, military state which is responsible for displacing hundreds of thousands of innocent people and gunning down women and children in broad daylight.”