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Gleneagles G8 Protests – Retaining the Initiative

Edward Campbell | 01.06.2005 11:18 | Birmingham | World

Book your trains, coaches planes, and minibuses, oil your bike wheels and polish your walking boots. Seize the Gleneagles G8 days for true justice - seize the initive.


Gleneagles G8 Protests – Retaining the Initiative

G8 leaders and its supporters want to divide opposition to it. This needs countering by tactically seizing the initiative from them, and always retaining. So book your trains, coaches planes, and minibuses, oil your bike wheels and polish your walking boots. Seize the days of the G8 for true justice, and not the lies of its leaders.

A much-used tactic against movements, and one the G8 leaders and supporters and its propaganda are trying again, is to divide opposition to it. This needs countering by always seizing the initiative away from them.

For example, yesterday the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) - supposedly one of the most independent corporate media organisations. It is saying that Anarchists hijacked protests at a previous G8 in Genoa, in their background reporting for the upcoming G8 at Gleneagles, Scotland, from July 1 – 9th.

They could even quote some of the left on this, which is a shame on them too. But they are misinformed. More accurately, Italian Military police attempted to hijack them, and failed. They are now being prosecuted for the crimes they committed with such brutality. This message needs to be got across.

I think some releases say print/video to the BBC and other media outlets - perhaps even the Scottish police, as Sky, who was severely beaten and brutalised by the Italian military police, at Genoa suggested. I agree that may help to put them straight.

This could lower the fear and tension that the corporate media are being forced to create by the state and capital to back up their attempts to repress legitimate protest; that want to suppress the truth of the horrendous crimes and criminal neglect for which they are responsible. We know they do this to preserve they power, positions and wealth.

Additionally, the MPH gatherings could be huge now that they under the banner of Live 'Aid' have taken a very progressive stance: declaring the G8 leaders should not come to Gleneagles to bullshit. They must make real material commitments to solve world poverty.

Also, they must not come unless they declare to stop: the illegal destruction of other nations infrastructure and nascent economies, and the mass murder of their people; the destruction and genocide of indigenous peoples cultures and their economies must be stopped; the destruction of the earth's resources and environment must be stopped; they must return the wealth they have stolen back to the people it belongs to; they must give up their repressive powers; and they must stop lying to the people.

These are only reasonable demands.


Already the police have responded to yesterday’s statement made by Bob Geldof to the international press on behalf of the Make Poverty History Campaign -the largest campaigning group which is part of a network of dissent against the G8 and its policies. He was the driving force behind the “Band Aid” and Live” aid projects begun in 1985.

The police have responded by issuing statements saying they might limit the numbers in Edinburgh, because up to a million might respond to this call. But millions go to the Edinburg International Arts festival without much trouble arising. So too should millions be allowed to a festival of dissent against the facilitator’s evil.'

Again, it is about taking the initiative, which Geldof and Co has done effectively. Similarly, I think, we should all say no to the states ludicrous demands and attempts at repress legitimate protest. I think we should pay no head, and tell them what we want and what we are going to do, if that's appropriate; to do whatever we think reasonable to save millions of lives and the planet from destruction.

We just want to stop the horrendous crimes that the G8 leaders are promoting. They want to silence us by limiting protest, dividing our networks by making up stories about violent protesters including anarchists, and confuse the people by claiming they want to stop death and destruction too. They don’t! They want wealth and power, and are forced to support the rich capitalist corporations and institutions which dominate and control the actions of the G* states. Power and wealth will preserve itself by any means – lying comes easy because words are cheap, although they will spend billions and billions on war too to keep their power and wealth.

It’s not a problem with the police per se. The problem lies with the military and repressive state, run by pathetic puppets and liars, such as Bush and Blair, advised by psychotic sidemen, who are forced by the morally bankrupt, greed soaked, corrupt, lying elite who control and benefit from the institution’s of neo-capitalism. The Blair’s and Bushes do very well out of it too, as well as getting their egos and power lust satisfied. Their supporters and toadies are rewarded handsomely too. No wonder they want to hang on to what they have got.

So the police (or coppers as we affectionately call them here, really) aren't the main problem. We need to cut through the propaganda that they are being fed, and keep them as cool as possible, despite what they are being told. Many of them are being sent up from English constabularies for the G8 from July 1-9th, at Gleneagles to do the dirty work. Their leaders, who act politically in favour of the elite to gain more power and reward - to behave very badly, indeed, have programmed them to act as violent thugs. We can help to cure them of this brain-washing.

I believe that we should not have to take up arms to defend ourselves, hopefully never, thank god. But that's for the future, if state repression, state crimes and states violence forces people to defend their lives. How they behave at the G8 will be a pointer, but the signs are for a very peaceful festival of protest. All groups involved in the protests want peaceful protest and are working for it. The police too are hopefully working for this.

It would be better if the G8 leaders stayed away and not the protesters, as Bob Beldof and Bono said yesterday on behalf of their comrades in MPH. We all need to take the initiate at the G8 to keep the G8 leaders away, or get to them in their fortress so they can see and hear the protests directly, instead hiding away behind camouflaged fences and cosseted in luxurious surroundings.

We need Bush and Blair to see the feelings in the faces of the protesters, but to continually call for peace and no violence. Broken fences do not matter, but broken bones do. So hold the initiative and hold any space that is taken and used for peaceful protest by keeping together in large peaceful groups. Hold out the hand of peace to the police, but others may not be able to do that as effectively, if they block roads or remove fences.

Safety and peace in numbers should be the strategy and a peaceful hand to the police, but I believe, we should not be restricted in our legitimate protests, which are a right under the rules and laws these leaders advocate. And to take the initiative at all times, despite what the police may want. They are being used by the state politically to minimise the impact of political protest. Just let them know peacefully and calmly.

MPH and we should keep the initiative now, and TELL them what we want and what we want to do. Well not tell them everything, of course.

Geldof, Bono and co are confident, its not just bluster because they can help mobilise large number of people by their concerts. We will see Blair and the G8 attempting to come down on their side with their lying rhetoric, but they are being cornered. Lets try and push them further into that corner and trap them, so there's no way out - perhaps except by helicopter to a US aircraft carrier.

We have the upper hand, the hidden hand of god too, with the Christians and Muslims, on board. With bold initiate and strength in numbers, I think we can win the day for justice peace and freedom: that’s to have food and live a decent life. Not the G8 freedom to dominate and exploit, murder, and destro the environment.

The answer to the G8 and their running dogs is a clam, peaceful but firm "no". No one get hurt if a just a few fences get broken, or a few roads get blocked, as long as peace is kept to a maximum, and any injuries are kept to a minimum.

So whatever is effective in keeping peace to a maximum and violence to a minimum should be carried out. I think we need to bear in mind that solidarity and support across the board are paramount. This may start to make the G8 change their policies and disband their aggressive military machines which aspire to dominate and repress other nations.

This must be the maximum demand, and the maximum number at Gleneagles can achieve this. So book your trains, coaches planes, and minibuses, oil your bike wheels and polish your walking boots. See you there.


For freedom, true justice, peace, and a permanent and unrelenting globalised revolution

Edward Campbell


Edward Campbell
- e-mail: johnnywalker2005@hotmail.co.uk
- Homepage: http://www.dissent.org.uk for info and Make Poverty History

Comments

Hide the following 22 comments

Of course

01.06.2005 11:29

Of course it could be that people who want to object to the G8 and what it stands for have rejected the Dissent approach and feel the Geldof model is best suited to achieving real change.

I know I have seen too many inefectual marches and demos - Geldof is making a difference, others are just talking.

Richard
mail e-mail: Richardandsarah@aol.com


Geldof is making a difference?

01.06.2005 13:58

Anyone who's been to a Disent gathering knows that they are not about ineffectual marches. That's more what MPH (aiming for a media spectacle) and G8 Alternatives (not sure what they want to do but are at least focussed on the Hotel rather than edinburgh) are about.

Groups associated with the Diseent network have called for the summit to be blockaded. That's more likely to derail TB's Thatcherite agenda for Africa than making a pretty white ring for the aerial TV cameras will be.

But like you say, some people may have decided that's what they want to do. Ineffective marching is not what I see Dissent putting its energy into.

ch


I agree ch

01.06.2005 14:22

Ineffective marching is not what I see Dissent putting its energy into either, I see them setting up a nice little money earner. Rail travel, hotel accomidation etc. I am not giving them my money

Dan


changes

01.06.2005 14:41

At the very least, Geldolfs intervention has significantly changed the political landscape. It will be interesting to see how the different groupings opposing the G8 respond; the media response is more predictable.

Krop


Armchair activism ~ saviour of the world

01.06.2005 18:55

If mass movements do not change anything why do the governments of the world respond to them so violently?

So going to a concert and wearing a plastic wristband will now save the world? ~ how liberal, being able to change the world from the comfort of your armchair and still have time for the Independent and DIY at weekend!

Alternatively some want to tell people how to act within a protest ~ come along see who promotes violence, people or state.

Geldof is perpetuating the cycle of poor wages and working condition for workers worldwide by having the bands made in sweat shops in china!

What has geldof actually DONE?

Dan ~ do you really believe that Dissent are on an earner? What a misinformed fool you sound like ~ put up or shut up ~ prove your comment or withdraw them.

There's non as blind as those that won't see


to RICHARD first comment

02.06.2005 06:57

RICHARD!

Come home, sweetheart. Harold told me about your message on this tinternet thingy everyone talks about. You are a clever honey, reallly, to work it out for yourself.

I was down the pub to day with him, that's Harold Hamlet, the free beer campaigner, after he appeared on the show. The bloke you hate, whose been trying to get on the show for years whose written a book on "Pubs that give short measures". He's definitely now the full pint, but he has talents sweety. He drank away all the cash I had in my wallet. But he's a darling, and , fortunately, an admirer if large bossomed women. He gave me some tips on how we can sort out your problem in the trouser department. And he showed me some new things too, that i'd like to try out with you, darling. He's a lovey really, but a sly old dog. I bet he sells the story to the News of the World.

Anyway Where the **** are you? I mad! You were supposed to be interviewing Barbara Cartland's corpse with me in the studio yesterday!

And who the **** is Sarah? Is she the production assistant that gave you a **** job? Are you holed up with her in a west end hotel snorted cocaine, trying to get a **** **.

And look darling, I told you not to go the internet thing. And typically, your comment is provocative moronic nonesense.

Get you arse back home, or your ***** will be mincemeat when I catch up with you. I don't care who you are trying to shag, but don't throw away our C4 contract trying to get it up some trollop whose after our money.


Anyway, if Sarah has helped with your erectile disfunction problem then great, then our marriage will improve,and I can stop playing with those toys you bought me. Perhaps we can do a live show about it?

You'll be pleased to know that the penis enlargement aparatus has arrived. We can try it out when you come home. Hey, perhaps we could do a Richard and Judy special on that, darling. You'd strap it on for the camera, wouldn't you love?


Come home, the dog is missing you. Harold's staying here to look after me until you get back, but he wont take the dog down the pub with him, he's got tons of research to do, and says the dog would cramp his style.

Your Darling Judy xxx

Judy


Earner

02.06.2005 07:05

Dan, you asked me "do you really believe that Dissent are on an earner". Of course I bloody do and so do many of us that will be going to Scotland. We are very pissed off at what is no more than an opportunity for them to swell thier bank account dressed up as "organisation". There are parasites at all these events - Dissent are just one more.

Dan


A change

02.06.2005 09:42

I have to say, as much as it pains me, I have to agree with Dan. Dissent has changed as an organisation and their wish to control the protests, the travel, the crash spaces, the people is less than healthy. Somebody has smelt a money making opportunity and grabbed it. Less and less free space is becoming available in Edingburgh because Dissent has already got there first - this aint good.

Moon


Hardly ‘put up or shut up’?

02.06.2005 11:39


So let me see, your logic and conjecture is based on what?

I think so, therefore, it must be so?

I’m going to protest against g8.

Fact, I have got a free space to crash and free food if I want it, of course I will contribute – it helps others come from further afield.

Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to stay at home listening to Sir Bob and saving the world by innaction or perhaps by voting emmmm............

Pretending not to be There's non as blind as those that won't see


Dissent isn't making money

02.06.2005 14:43

Dissent is making no money from this protest.

Loads of the individuals and groups within dissent are spending loads of their own money so that transport and accomodation can be provided either for free or for low cost in Edingburgh, Glasgow, and at a rural site near Gleneagles.

There are a lot of people who have worked tirelessly and selflessly for the last two years on this, and whilst I would agree there has been problems with the Dissent Network and it isn't perfect, (What the Fuck Is). It is plainly offensive to accuse them of trying to make money out of the G8 protests.

They also aren't trying to control the protests, but are trying to facilate a large range of different protests that have come from within the network. If you wish to do other protests then please go ahead, do them, no-one form dissent will try and stop you.

They are also not trying to stop people finding cheap or free places to stay in Edingburgh but rather faciliating this process.

Please lets not descend into petty bickering and get on with the job of trying to create real social and ecological justice

A street medic


Moon

02.06.2005 14:50

Dissent have organised free/donation accomodation for those who want it in Scotland. How is that an attempt to "control" people? There's accomodation provided by other groups, such as G8 Alternatives and the local council if that's better for you. Also, the Dissent network hasn't organised any transport to Scotland, but local groups are organising buses or trains etc. Dissent is a network rather than a group, allowing groups around the UK and Europe to organise together. I don't see how it's activities are stopping you doing whatever you want to.

bob


Actually doing things

02.06.2005 15:00

What has Bob Geldof actually done? Someone said earlier...

Well a load more than anyone on this website about raising awareness of African suffering and debt...

I just think people need to think about the work he and others are doing to raise the mainstream's awareness of the issues, and you can slag anyone off that you want, but respect the fact that as long as Africa and debt are seen as an 'Activist' issue rather than a concern for EVERYONE then those pricks at G8 (leaders by the way) won't be listening and will be using their coppers and whoever else to keep the people going up to G8 on the fringe and stopping the true message getting through.

So respect to anyone going up, make some noise!!! But don't slag anyone trying to make it mainstream.

Peace

Don

Don


Ground Control

02.06.2005 16:27


MOON, SKY, this is SUN wear the bazes is EARTH.

Harold H. Here (code name SUN). I am stuck in a Pub some on the Isle of Dogs and run out of loose change, but its got the Tinternet thingy, that Judy kindly showed me. She'sjust wlaked out on me.

Anyone know where the News International Building is? Better still post me there phone number.

Bye for noww

SUN


Calling legal Support.

03.06.2005 12:57


I am innocent! I was arrested by the city police while searching out the Murdoch empire, having left the "Angel Islington Public House" in fine feetle.

I did not do "a runner" - I just deffered my tab until pay day. What a cheek! I am a respectable academic studying Crochet and Knitting at warwick university (tuesday nights).

These coppers have not respect human rights, they refused me my nightcap last night - outrageous!

I must be out of the hell by tomorrow, when the North oxfordshire beer festival to which I am official delegate opens it's never emptying barrels to conoisseurs and punters alike.

Send in the Samba, and a few top lawyers, and I'll cut you in on some of the North Ox. action.

Harold.


SUN


Every Cloud eh ..

04.06.2005 09:51


Would you belive it? The a Tabloid scribe sprung me from that hell hole cell, in which I had begun my "Ballards from the Goal" - he must have answered my IM call. It might have been my masterpiece , fame and fortune combined.

Anyway, this tosser chucked me a substantial bung for some small details about Judy's underwear ( I am still sitting on a gold, which can be mined when I tend to towards impecunity). I'm off to glorious spain to see my Spanish "friend" and treat her to a wonderful tour of Analucia. There's the slight inconvenience of switching to the cervesas, but it should get me through the trauma of missing th North Ox fest.

The North Ox is always the highlight of my anual researches. I get free beer and digs, for my expert comments on their latest brews. And digs with dear Agnis, a former matron, are stupendous. Full cooked breakfast (vegetarian of course) with adequate quantities of rivivng Bloody Marys and person care. Agnis and I go way back to the days when she ran a House of Pleasure for gentlemen in Clapham. (I took care of blackmailing judges and politicians).

So Viva Espana. Warm up your engine for the tour of Analucia Maria - I'm on my way.

Harold

SUN (where's Fire, Water and Earth? Moon and Sky do you know?)


Dissent or Sir Bob ~ who’s on an earner?

04.06.2005 15:19

I just noticed that Sir Bob has, by coincidence I’m sure, published his book. ‘Geldof in Africa’.

I examined it, not to browse in consideration of purchase, but to look for the bit that says xx% of the proceeds of this book will go to help the make poverty history, but alas it made no such promise.

Now to return to my original point:

What has Geldof actually DONE?

I gave one example of how he had perpetuated the poor working conditions of people in China by having those wristbands made in China.

Now I have now given another example of how he has used the plight to apparently feather his own nest.

So question another,

Does Geldof want to make poverty History or,
Does Geldof want to make poverty His story?

Someone else pretending to be ‘There's non as blind as those that won't see’


Bnenos Dias

04.06.2005 23:56

Thought I'd check back for any interesting gossip, and there's just this "sir Bob" bollocks.

Bob is Bob! Comprendo larger drinker. And if he wishes to contribute some of his royalties to my researches then: money well spent.

"Just some toss-pot pseud tilting at windmills", no doubt, as Don the Bin-Man (the "Donkey" to freinds) would say about the acedemic frequenting his favourite Oxford watering hole. Say no more.

Oh the delights of Maria, and Espania's warm sun and beautiful women, and Cervezas, of course, and all those yummy free nibbles.

Til my return to the celtic lands.


H. (Taking respite from Battling fearlessly for good British Beer)

Harrold Longpiece Hamlet


An Elevating proposition To Dissent

05.06.2005 06:35

As the sun rose on the Costa Del Costa this, and streamed through our hotel window, with the wonderful Maria sleeping beautifully wrapped in my loving arms, I had an elevating though.

I want to set up a free Beer Tent at the Convergence Centre. It would be the world's first, and a chance for me to go down in brewing history. I would just want to make two stipulations: a small charge for the glass, and the banning of all other drinking receptacles on the campsite.

Oh. And where the blazes are these convergence centres? It's three weeks until G day, and not a whisper. Will I have to get a copy of today’s Sunday Times to find out, or will the ruling caste of DISSENT release this information to the minions, otherwise no one will turn up to them, and all my beer will be wasted.

I have got Donkey-Don, Regular-Reg (11am daily, twice on Sundays) and Bluster-Bob. He could lie bullshit for Britain, and frequently does for the financial Times.

Bob's one of my spies at the FT now that I got the upper hand after catching him engaged in an certain act with a beer barrel as I made a surprise visit to the pub cellar of "the Goose", one of my locals, on a tip off from Miriam a bar-person at said establishment. In coitious-barrelious, as we say in the licencing trade. Barrels are to cellar-men what sheep are to farmers. My blackmailing skills were developed many years ago in London, under the tueledge of Agnis.

Quite a solid little team.

So, can we do a deal? Dissent can have 20% of the profits - cash.

Harold Longshags (as dear Maria has re-christened me) Hamlet


My One True Love - My Belle-Donna Disappears (again)

06.06.2005 07:11


I awoke again, after having dreamed of making a technical adjustment to the beer pump air inlet valve to produce a larger than legal head on the beer to be served up at the convergence centre - this would raise profits by 5%. It wasn't the money that motivated me, that would go back into my campaigns or spent on my darling Maria – but the cunning deceit. Getting one over on the punters. I saw myself sitting at the bar, helping myself to copious quantities of wonderful free ale whilst while watching the punters being fleeced. Perhaps it was a sexual thing, a substitute for the absence of Maria.

And awaking, I removed what was covering my face and felt the cold wind that now blew through the open window, the sun had disappeared - and so had Maria. A pair of her large knickers in my hands she had left draped over my face.

There was a note, but it was shorter than usual, running only to 27 pages of Spanish, and this time written in Sonnet form. I would get the other Maria, the cook from "the Goose" to translate it on my return.

My god this women knew how to drive me to crazy and back again. Although this time, I felt I might not get the return trip from the land of crazy this time. She was my one and only true love, without the promise of her – I would not exist.

I got up and had one of those stream of consciousness episodes that James Joyce banged on about for a thousand pages. And like his writing it greatly confused me; "did my bollocksing head in", as Don would say about his wife's verbal onslaughts after he'd return pissed as a fart from the Goose of a Saturday night every without fail, except when he didn’t return until the following Sunday evening, sober. His wife thought he had a mistress, but he gave no denial – he never said a word. But he wasn't. I'll tell you about those Saturday night expeditions of our unit later.

Anyway, I headed for the bog, with all this crazy stuff going on in my head, that I was too simple in the head to comprehend. I thought taking LSD must be like this, and perched myself on the thrown, perspiring, and spent the next half hour on the bog staring a Maria’s love letter, only understanding the odd word. The world had fallen out of my bottom, figuratively speaking – reality was painfully following.

We loved and cared for each other – physically it was wonderful too, to which her sonnet would as usual attest. But she always left me wanting. She always disappeared when my desire was provoked, in this case she left me with full-blooded desire and need in my large baggy string underwear. We would meet again when I came into some surplus cash – and she’d leave her dutiful husband for a week or so to tend his farm alone, saying she was going on a religious pilgrimage.

I spent the next two days in Cordoba, mostly in the company of some Spanish Anarchists, then took the long bus ride to Malaga for my return flight. On arrival in beautiful but brutal Britain I headed direct to “The Gooseberry and Balls”, anticipating a full breakfast washed down with pint of Old Roger.

Harold


Conspiracy in Harry's Bar

06.06.2005 11:42

When Harold took his perch at the end of the bar, Lucy, the student bar-person, greeted him with a smile.

You been under a sun-bed Harry, she said, as her surprised frown melted returned to a softer smile.

No: he replied

She said: Someone left this for you. And then passed him an envelope addressed:

HH
The Goose

Harry opened it casually, as Lucy pulled him a pint in response to his a swift point of left-hand index finger that selected the Theaskton's bitter pump.

He read it slowly, like a scholar digesting some deep philosophical treatise:


 http://www.indymedia.org.uk/en/2005/06/312694.html


It wasn't what he had expected: not their next mission.

He questioned the text with an intelligent inquiring look. On finishing, he whispered to himself: What's THIS bollix?

Sorry Harry, what was that? Is that a bad pint? Asked Lucy.

Quick as a flash, he replied: Yes! Pour us another dear, there must have bee something in the glass. He had secured himself a free beer; his spirits rose, as the "Conspiracy" from Anonymous, was temporarily forgotten, and put down to windup by one of his friends: Don, Reg, Maria, Agnes ... they all flashed through his head, like the flicking through of a deck of cards. However, he hadn't notice that there was a card missing. That card would come back to haunt him, like the sandman.

He took a leisurely breakfast, completed the Guardian G2 crossword in under 30 minutes, a record, gave a cursory perusal to the racing pages, before placing a £20 bet on the derby favourite at 3-1, with Alf the Milk-Man who kept a book, and was always seated in the corner by the bust of some Roman Emperor with an axe elegantly fashioned through it's head.

It was practically all he had left from the cash proffered by News of the World journalist. He smiled as he recalled telling this hack about Judy's underwear. Fact is she didn't wear any, except the top half and silk petty-coats, but he would never really betray a lover. A necessary lie to get out of a tricky situation was acceptable, and would not incur the wrath of Judy.

Harold then headed back home, after making a few phone calls from the bar phone.

Ed


It's Not Cricket - The story Of Harrold Hamlet

08.06.2005 16:29

It's Not Cricket

Harold collected on his Derby win from an outwardly unconcerned Alf, who made reasonable profit on his one-man betting shop in The Goose. His farther had been an on course bookmaker in Newcastle, and like him Alf had inherited many traits: ginger hair, a Geordy accent, and unconditional support of the republic…. of Ireland. This was the birth place of his farther, Neil O’Neil, who had an obseesion with Alfred the Great, after whom he named the elder of his two sons; the other he christened Alexandra. He wanted his boys to be destined for great things, so far they were “pacing themselves”, as he told anyone who would listen.

Alfred had taught for over six months now after his contract wasn’t renewed at a local girls sixth form college. His exam results were high and so was his history and economics classes consumption of marijuana. The more adventurous girls, who absented themselves from their dormitories on a Saturday night, and hid away in the back bar, playing darts, pool and drinking the occasional Champaign cocktail, called him Ginger down The Goose, not “Sir”. when a large quantity of weed was discovered by the headmistress under the pillow of one of the girls – the finger was pointed immediately at Alfred because he smoked roll ups, and the cleaners reported a strange herbal smokey smell in his classroom storeroom on two occasions.

What concerned Alfred was what the headmistress was doing examining Amanda Mc Donalds bed on sports afternoon. This confirmed to Alfred that she must have “preferred to lick the stamp on the other side,” or “played with the bevelled edge” (the reverse side of the crciket bat, because Amanda declared she was “a gay lesbain” for lent the previous year. she was a contrarian who rebelled against convention, so instead of abtinence during lent she went for excess. Anyway, the chaiin of events that caused the effect of Alfred’s departure was unfortunate because he was also acused of having an affair with Amanda, which he wasn’t. Truth be told, he would have sacrificed his job for jsut one night with Amanda – a cruel irony that fate played on innocent him. In fact the weed came from Amanda’s “boyfriend” the mechanic from the villiage garage who regularly tended to her bicycle which was forever broken down.

The headmistress of Blenheim Girls Sixth Form College, Miss Francis Botham (“fanny bottom” to the girls), frequented The Goose on the third Sunday of the month for lunch with her visiting mother, who allegedly was an interrogation specialist for the intelligence services. It was a goal of Harold’s to interrogate Mrs Botham over dinner. He was on nodding terms with her, until one Sunday he winked at her furtively way, this set their relationship back six months. But Harold was incorrigible when working on a project, and her coyness actually increased the attraction. This wi professionalism.

Alf donated the excess profits from his book making to “Irish Children’s Homes”, a charity that he and Harold had masterminded. So he wasn’t really into illegal gambling for personal gain, although it provided him with a little extra cash, which invariably went over the bar of The Goose, or in Albert Goldenstein’s Book shop just off the village square, two doors down from “The Curry House.”

Goldenstein (“Golden Gloves”) was the wicket keeper in the village cricket team, which was odd past-time for an eastern European Jew, and was the only player to have mastered taking the fast but erratic bowling of Mohamud, the proprietor of The Curry Hosue. The Bloomford village cricket team Captain, an ex-guardsman called Huntley Bruce-Gardiner, had tried in vain to block their membership, and always dropped them from the team when they played the Lord Bollingbroke’s Bellingham XI in the annual charity match, when losing and not winning was the deal. Jews and Muslim’s were not welcome in the Lord’s pavilion.

Alf didn’t play cricket or any sport at all; he exercised his mind and not body, excepting in his passion for the female sex. He exercised his mind on Harold too, and that’s why Harold’s win on the Derby bet wasn’t welcome. He wanted to take all of Harold’s money from him. That was a passion sixth only to his love of literature, music, weed, alcohol, and women; oh and politics. Harold was winning, Alf was livid but hid it from everyone – except Harrold, whom he invariably could not fool. But he hoped to fleece him one day, mainly out of pride – but he wished Harrold no harm; they were in fact in the same unit; brothers and sisters in arms.

Harold, having trousered his £300 pound winnings, took the boys (and one woman) out meal at “Friend’s Curry House”, Owned and Run by Mohamud and Wisanti, a mixed Hindu-Muslim marriage. This rubbed salt into Alf’s wounded pride over the bet, and was particularly irrating for him when Harold insisted on buying all the drinks for him too (with his own money really), which amounted to over a crate of Cobra beer. Harold wouldn’t touch the cold keg bitter that he claimed looked and tasted like dish-water and was campaigning for it to be removed from Mohamud’s drinks menu.


They retired for the Goose for last order’s and retired in good spirits after making some plans about an imminent outing on the following Saturday night.

The next day, Harold was back in the goose at 11:00 digesting the Sunday newspapers. That Sunday, events in the Goose took a most were unusual and unexpected turn, which Harold wrote in a letter to Maria that Sunday night in his attic room – that doubled as an office and window on the village. The Room had a view of The Goose, Village Green and the Police Station in which Stan and Norbert backed by the administrative support of Daisy – the real brains of the local constabulary. Harold played chess with Daisy most Monday nights in his attic room.

Harold stared out over the darkened village green that Sunday and began writing his letter to Maria.

(Draft 1 – 9/6/05)

E


The Adventure of Harold Hamlet (Continued)

18.06.2005 12:07

Richard Madley in Weird Mourning Ritual

PartI – Posting the Letter

Harold acknowledged the beautiful Saturday morning in Bloomfield as he strolled down to the post office. Time had passed at lighting speed since Sunday night when he was reminded to post a message on the Indymedia news wire by a Nora’s flyer as he had been sitting at is desk thinking about his salutation to Maria.

He had settled for “My Dearest Rosebud,” the opening line of letter he now held in his hand. “Scary Dancing,” he had thought, “ My Lord, what next, “Incredibly Sexy Dancing,” he had hoped. His hopes would be realised on an unexpected visit to Sheffield where such protest technique was adopted for the first time in his memory. He would later relate this to Nora who he hoped would incorporate this into the village group’s first performance at the summer fete, later that day. “Incredibly Scary Sexy Dancing”, and Broomfield would make a lurch into the avant-garde scene, and scare the shit out of the vicar at the same time.

He had written the letter Monday morning. After beating at chess on Monday evening he called in the Goose for a swift one, only to be immediately given a message from Lucy as he arrived at the bar: call Jethro ASAP. He did.

Harold was called to Sheffield for a few days to apparently investigate the Illegal sale of bootleg ale, namely “Black Sheep” by Jethro, Champion Taster at the 1977 Birmingham Beer Festival and subsequently consultant to CAMRA. They were two members of the External Investigations Unit (EIU) – two were sufficient for this operation – and worked for CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale). Well that was their cover story anyway; to be used only if the South Yorkshire police stopped them.

The president of CAMRA would obligingly confirm this because Harold not only knew he was having an affair with a young Italian waiter from Norwich, but had photographs of them kissing passionately in nave of the Cathedral.

Harold continued, ambling down the hill. He paused and turned looking at the sun rising above the pagan cross, situated down from the green, at the junction with the only road to the village which wasn’t on any standard published map. In fact you couldn’t get to Bloomflield without being told how to get there. And this pagan cross was the first thing on entering the village by road.

The crossed appeared to him black, like burnt wood, fuzzily outlined against the bright early morning light from the sun. As if there might be a black body hanging there, absorbing all the light falling upon it. Where was all that energy going – flashed through Harold’s mind, was it life giving. Was there life inside the cross absorbing the radiant light?

What an extraordinarily beautiful day it was that Saturday – he continued to observe. And - What are days for? – He thought, and surprised not only the vicar, who was walking his dog, but himself too by proclaiming - For living in! …

- Morning Harry - the vicar said matter-of-factly. - Didn’t now you recited poetry. It’s a celebration of the creations of God, you know, my son. -

Harold replied tersely – I don’t. No it’s not. Being 10 ten years younger than ME!, your cannot possibly be my father.

- Than I, Harry. Than I, dear boy. Good grammar makes good sense. –

Harold muttered a growl, inaudible to the vicar’s woolly-hated ears, feeling the stirrings of anger in his stomach. He turned away sharply, politely wishing his foe – good morning - letting the vicar get the upper hand this time, as he gripped the letter in his hand tightly now thinking about its fate. The job in hand was to send that letter and not to give the vicar a good kicking – Harold had thought, consciously restoring his internal composure and balance, for he had nearly tripped on executing his turn so swiftly.

Will she even read it? I don’t know - he thought. Harold had asked her once if she even read his letters, to which he never replied. Maria had answered - What do you think my dear Baggy Pants? Don’t ask me that again Harold - in her quiet gruff but very sexy (to Harold) Spanish accent. There were times when Maria wasn’t to be obeyed and questioned further. This was one of them. Harold had once only broken this rule of their relationship. She insisted on separate beds for the rest of that holiday they spent together in France.

He sent her over 700 letters now and Harold considered them as a record of his adult life – he considered that he became an adult male only after having met Maria. Perhaps they would be published one day, he thought, when he had become famous. His recent appearance on the “Richard and Judy” show, he thought, was the beginning of his inevitable rise to fame – albeit without the presence of Richard – who hated Harold, for amongst other things, Harrold’s vegetarianism and support of Animal Rights.

Richard Madely had become a target for the ALF. Well so he himself thought. He wasn’t in fact; his paranoid tailspin and decent into delusion arose from the response arising from the reckless and provocative comments that he made when interviewing a prominent animal rights activist on the “Real Fox Fur is Sexy and Fun” debate to coincide with London Fashion Week. A few TV viewing odd-balls wrote letters to the show afterwards threatening Richard in no uncertain terms. This wasn’t because of his relish for eating all things meet, but because He wore only a fox fur jock strap throughout the whole show at the insistence of Judy. It was really a prudish fundamentalist Christian from Glasgow who had threatened to kidnap and serve his penis up on a platter for Richard’s own dinner.


Harold’s stream of conscious thoughts flowed to observing the villages shiny red post box as he imagined a huge scythe cutting it down by sweeping through the base. This was a very odd image that made him very uncomfortable, but was probably aroused by what was in his hand that, the letter to Maria. He swiftly dispatched it into the post-box and walked away briskly and with purpose towards the Goose to take breakfast before attending the annual summer garden fete.

(Draft 1 Sat June 18).






The Author


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