A detachment of the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army took to the streets and shopping areas of Glasgow on Saturday. Dressed as Doctors, and sporting stethoscopes and CD’s stuck to their foreheads, they went along two of the main shopping streets carrying large white Boxes of Nothing, urging passers by to ‘Buy one get one free’ - ‘Special Offer - absolutely nothing at all’ and ‘For one day only - absolutely nothing’
The smiles of many people as they passed down the streets were worth a thousand words - some were bemused, others just smiled as the made-up Retail Therapists continually dropped their Nothing Boxes - or formed queues to pass the boxes over road crossings.
With much mirth and jollity the Retail Therapists played their way down to St Enochs Square - where they cajoled people to come over to the Swap Shop which had been set up by members of the SAORSA G42 collective. The Swap Shop was busy with people - especially children - exchanging key-rings for books - sunglasses for light bulbs - indeterminate objects for clothes - while the Retail Therapists urged the crowd to ‘Take the stress out of Christmas shopping, don’t do it - at least for today Buy Nothing Day’
Those taking a break from were given the once over by the Retail Therapists. In what one Doctor called ‘Operation Operation’ - at ease shoppers were inspected with play stethoscopes, ear trumpets and so on, and in severe cases were diagnosed as suffering from Extreme Consumption. They were ordered to take the rest of the day off and get some quality time in bed.
While a couple of Therapists went into the nearby GAP shop and urged people to tell people they did not have to make those purchases to be happy, others attempted (unsuccessfully) to put big Boxes of Nothing into the GAP window. One Therapist taped a computer game handset to a nearby Police Information bow and urged people to com and have a free game. While kids took turns to zap the Police box - buttons were pushed to change the screen displays of maps and lovely police infos- better than sitting at home alone doing much the same thing. Eventually the Retail Therapists disappeared into the now darkening streets, still passing empty boxes one to the other, and still urging passers by to find something better to do than shopping with their free time.
Laugh and Peace