What was to be a civilised cocktail party became a bloody mess as four clowns
from the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army became injured and started
dying whilst serving drinks outside the Foreign Office.
soirée, which was organised for those foreign office civil servants who wanted
a break from their regular routine of making wars, setting up dictatorships and
pretend democracies and making lots of money out of them by selling them big
bombs and things that melt and pierce and chop people into lots of little bits.
Anyway, the clowns were circulating with orange squash cocktails and trying to
avoid tactless comments that might offend their guests, when they were all
suddenly afflicted with terrible injuries and death.
To their great dismay and embarrassment, the clean and civilised vicinity of the
Foreign and Common Wealth Offence started to get bloody as their injuries made
them stagger around bleeding heavily.
Luckily, there were plenty of clowns in blue to save the day and protect
everyone from having to see such disturbing scenes. They quickly rescued the
dying clowns and put them in special tiled blood-proof cells (each individual
clown was very kindly given a whole cell to themselves to bleed freely in)
where they could die privately in view of CCTV and where things could be
cleaned up easily afterwards. After several hours, the bleeding finally
stopped and the blue clowns managed to get the doors (which had become
mysteriously stuck - perhaps because of the congealed blood) open for the
The clowns in dark blue then played a lovely game to make the rebel clowns feel
better after bleeding so much, which involved telling riddles such as "how
did the blood get on the foreign office?" and "did the clowns intend to die
and cause criminal damage in the process or was it just collateral damage?"
and "what is red and splatters all over the place when it is spat out?"
This was such a complicated game that the clowns in blue got really confused
themselves and had to admit they couldn't solve the riddles either!
The rebel clowns then gave their fingerprints and handprints and side handprints
and squiggly wiggly DNA spirals to the blue clowns, who promised to keep them
forever and ever as a souvenir of the visit. This made some of them cry, it
was such a touching and personal thing to do.
The whole affair was such a success that the four rebel clowns have been invited
back to play with the clowns in blue again on October 9th at Charing Cross
Police Station. They just can't wait!!!
END of Report