Moron | 28.08.2006 02:28
Time to let your voice be heard. Time to choose who is the stupidest of them all.
GOLDEN AGE" OF STUPIDITY PROCLAIMED
Vice President Dick Cheney has a shot; Britney Spears did it again; and President George W. Bush gets his own category!
Middle East lands Lifetime Achievement Award
Proclaiming this is a "golden age of human stupidity," organizers announce the much-anticipated 4th annual World Stupidity Awards.
"The Romans had coliseums; the Egyptians had pyramids, and we have stupidity," said official World Stupidity Awards Spokesmoron, Robert Spence. "With all that we know today, the fact that we can rush into wars, destroy our planet, and act like complete idiots; and then, be proud of it, shows we're in an era of Super Stupidity."
The World Stupidity Awards, which is conducted every year, salutes achievement in stupidity and ignorance. The 4th annual World Stupidity Awards is organized by ARSE - The Academy Recognizing Stupidity Everywhere - in tandem with Disinformation, a New York based publisher and distributor.
The awards are decided by worldwide Internet vote. People can vote online at www.stupidityawards.com.
This year the organizers have introduced several new awards to reflect the times; including the Stupidity Award for Being Most out of Touch with Reality and The Stupidity Award for Making an Already Stupid Situation Stupider.
"The World Stupidity Awards is about recognizing greatness in stupidity," said Spence. "And we thought the special ability to take a situation that is already very stupid and make it even dumber, is what separates the amateurs from the professionals."
Nominees for this award include actor Mel Gibson for offering to urinate on the floor after being arrested for drunk driving, and Britney Spears for almost dropping her baby for photographers after driving recklessly with him.
The organizers also added a category named the Stupidest Statement by President George W. Bush - various statements by the President will compete against each other to see which will be deemed the stupidest. President Bush was given his own category after voters complained that Bush's presence was unfair to the other nominees
Other notable nominees include the former head of FEMA Michael Brown in the Stupidest Man of the Year category; Vice President Dick Cheney could be recognized for having helped create the Stupidest Moment of the Year when he shot a friend in the face. Mr. Gibson is also a nominee for the Stupidest Statement of the Year category - after he was arrested recently for drunk driving, he allegedly told a female police sergeant: "What do you think you're looking at sugar tits?"
Finally, the organizers, after sifting through long lists of worthy nominees, have decided that this year's prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award for Stupidity will be going to the Middle East itself.
"It is strange to be giving the award to a territory rather than an individual, but this part of the world has created enough stupidity for many lifetimes," said Spence.
Voting begins August 15th, and the winners will be revealed on September 20th.
The World Stupidity Awards was originally inspired by the hit documentary Stupidity, the first film to deal directly with the subject of human stupidity.
Nominees for the World Stupidity Awards are decided by a group of experts in the field, "a bunch of idiots," said Spence.
The motto of the World Stupidity Awards is: "We're all stupid. Some of us need to have it pointed out."
NOMINEES FOR THE WORLD STUPIDITY AWARDS 2006:
STUPIDEST MAN OF THE YEAR
1) Donald Thompson – District Judge – a.k.a. Oklahoma Penis Pump Judge.
He operated a powerful penis pump underneath his robes during at least three trials while court was in session (two of which were murder trials). Convicted June 29, 2006 on four counts of felony indecent exposure.
2) Michael Brown - former director of FEMA
3) Kim Jong Il - North Korean dictator
4) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
5) Dick Cheney - Vice President of the United States
STUPIDEST STATEMENT OF THE YEAR
1) "No fruit loops!" Ex-Dictator Saddam Hussein on his breakfast of choice while in jail.
2) "They think work is a four-letter word." – Senator Hillary Clinton, speaking about kids today.
3) "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." - Vice President Dick Cheney, on Iraq.
4) "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" Mel Gibson to female Sergeant in Malibu, California following his arrest for drunk driving.
5) "My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week," Harry Whittington, after Dick Cheney shot him in the face. February 17, 2006
THE DUMBEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR
1) Zinedine Zidane head butts Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final and is ejected.
2) Vice President Dick Cheney shoots friend
3) Britney Spears speeds with her baby's head close to steering wheel
4) Danish Newspaper Jyllands-Posten publishes the controversial Mohammed cartoons
5) Protesters violently demonstrate against the Danish Mohammed cartoons
STUPIDITY AWARD FOR MAKING A STUPID SITUATION STUPIDER
1) Mel Gibson offering to urinate on the floor following his arrest for drunk driving.
2) Britney Spears almost dropping her baby after driving dangerously with him twice, and then talking about it on TV
3) Nick Flynn trips on his shoelaces, falls down a set of stairs and smashes three priceless antique Chinese vases in a museum. Flynn then criticized the museum for not taking better care of its displays.
4) The Bush Administration in Iraq
5) Deciding not to tell anyone after Vice President Dick Cheney shoots his friend.
STUPIDEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR
1) Basic Instinct 2
2) The Da Vinci Code
3) The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
5) Little Man
MEDIA OUTLET WHICH HAS BEST FURTHERED IGNORANCE
1) Danish Newspaper, Jyllands-Posten
2) The Name Radio Format (Bob, Jack, Tom etc…)
3) Fox News
4) The Colbert Report
5) Rush Limbaugh
STUPIDITY AWARD FOR RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT OF THE PLANET
1) The Government of North Korea
2) The Government of Israel and Hezbollah (Shared)
4) The Arms Industry
5) The Petroleum Industry
STUPIDEST STATEMENT BY PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
1) "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."
2) "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." - to FEMA director Michael Brown in a televised address.
3) "Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?" to legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten. Bush later apologized, saying he was unaware of Wallsten's blindness, and that while he likes to needle the press, "next time I'll use a different needle."
4) "Wow! Brazil is big." George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva.
5) "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us
and get them out of harm's way."
STUPIDEST TREND OF THE YEAR
1) WW III
2) Post Reality TV Reality TV
4) Killing people for God
5) Killing people
6) Ass Cleavage
DISINFORMATION STUPIDITY AWARD FOR BEING MOST
OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY
1) Senator Hillary Clinton
2) Michael Jackson
3) US President George W. Bush
4) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran
5) Tom Cruise
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR STUPIDITY
The Middle East
2005 Main Organization Revealing Obvious Nitwits Inc. MORON