Benjamin Creme says it would be preposterous anyway to expect a kind of loyalty from the masters, and this is what my brother said at the time. I nearly had a nervous breakdown recently by certain negative patterns I seem to attract. And my health was not so great, my heart. The last few years I made an effort to save some things I lived for which were never accepted.
Even as I went shopping for the first time in my life in a certain provincial town, the same day the front page of the local newspaper opened that a new safety plan will be worked out in the next two years to improve safety in the shops there. When I had to pass Rotterdam in the Netherlands by the Underground (Metro), I read that only certain passes, identity cards, will be accepted soon to enter. These passes are fabricated from greed in cooperation with banks. So I can't pass here again or visit my mother in the future. I cannot handle even the supermarket with their passes for a discount and security guards. Really, these things give me heartbeats and heart trouble. The semi intimidation of these empty people is heart wrenching who make this control seem sexy. Many people start talking to me in a supermarket, often in an inquisitive tone of course, for they cannot do anything else to lift their own self-esteem than put the other down kindly and dirty your aura by direct or indirect suggestion, whereas everywhere else it will take ten years or so to get a conversation with anyone anywhere, if at all.
Yesterday I got a fine near the train station (Central Station) in Amsterdam for smoking, by a police woman, very intimidating. I walked the corridor underneath connecting two public roads, and lit a cigarette, and realised it might not be allowed to smoke either here (which I knew it wasn't on the wharf), but I didn't want to throw the cigarette on the pavement, so I took it in my mouth when I was outside the station and was arrested by these two women. I disagreed and they warned me that I would lose all my civil rights if I would make one more comment.
Someone from SHARE once said to me that if I always get problems it could be saying something about me. That is true, but this 'something' has been not only used as a negative indication by many people, also friends until then, when something negative happened, this explanation itself was the main line in these negative occurrences, supposedly my own projection according to these mentally lazy people who can easily give a kick in the back in this way for no reason at all.
I won't call names, but many have contributed to this character assassination. I don't want to revenge, but it is the truth. The only spiritual idea from the West is that of negative projection in clinical psychology: alike attracts alike or creates alike. In the East which is more esoteric and closer to the truth, it is said that the more light attracts the more darkness. The analogy in thought and speech is that the more you think or see and speak the truth the more lies you get in response, if people have nothing to give.
So we can start and keep lying for a long time. For this is the truth.
This is also why the State is constantly pestering through its army of dumb people boasting and pretending in their silly power game, playing the boss on the street, but being nothing more than volunteering slaves, sadomasochists and perverts.
It is recommendable that the police will get a number on their back again, as in the past, so that they can be more easily identified if there are complaints instead of the other way round.
Since Europe has become unified and communism disappeared, a certain check on our conscience was gone. Europe tends to even commercialise more than the United States in some fields like public services. People do not even understand what competition is. So manipulated and drilled they are in pseudo morality of competing, that they don't see this is what they are doing and demanding of others. Men don't even trust you if you don't compete with them, emotionally, for their own wives as it were. Women don't even understand if your don't crave them, and their rejection is a pretence aimed at thin air and no reality at all. In this way people constantly both humiliate each other and themselves not seeing. Only dying people are safe. Fearful, they are trying to show they are not afraid. How can one stand this degradation? The only form of self respect is gained from the police going after you. There have been times that police didn't even exist. But there is no use getting rid of them if everyone is controlling one another. Life has no meaning in this way. One can not put the disrupted pieces together by a million discounts of a penny. Neither does it help to make the fine ten times higher for urination in the street, as planned in Rotterdam. A police officer even feels no shame to catch an adult in the act of pissing, and he orders him to stop immediately. I have seen it happen.
Who are the ones who are shameless?