Fucken... So yisterday me n aw the crew went oot tae Edinburger, right? We wur there tae tell 'ay SDL mob whit we thoat ay their bolloks.

So, we spent fucken days staunin in the cauld waitin tae find oot where they wur. The blood wis jist aboot congealed in mah feet whin we heard this they were in some pub. Jenny Ha's wis the name. An ahm hinkin "In a fuckin' pub again?"

Bit that disnae matter. So wuv flew ootae there lit' a bat oota hell if ye catch mah drift. Straight up this steep fuckin hill and the Polis ur lit' "STOAP STOAP YUR NO GETTIN BY YA RADGES!" And we're lit' "Get yursel tae fuck, ya high-vis wanker." So we've joost went jeggin oan by. But then, this radge, Amar Anwar wis lit' "MOAN! WUR NO GONNAE DAE ANYTHIN USEFUL - LET'S JOOST GO FORTY-TRILLION MILES AWAY AND CHAT ABOOT HOW MUCH WE DON'T LIKE THUM." and everycunt's lit "Aw naw man... he's dead posh, like. Should we joost go?" N' they start turnin roon tae go wi him. So Ahm lit' "Aw whit man," an me and aw the other good cats wur like "SHUT IT YA WANKIN' RADGE YE. MOAN PEPO! MOAN KICK THE SDL MOB'S HIEDS IN!"

So some pepo wur like "Aye man, fuck Amar Anwar, he's a coward." An we charged up tae the Royal Mile n then the polis wur pure bastards. They fucken kettoe'd us! They joost boaxed us in away fae the SDL's fucken pub. An ah wis like "Aw naw man,"

Bit then, this fucken genuis, Arty, the cunt's name wis, starts walkin' backwurds taewards the polis! N he's bangin oan aboot "Just let yerself fall backwards, feel the experiance clensing your lower charkrah," n aw that shite, an that fair pissed the Pigs oaf.

Bit it never worked cause no everybudy would dae it. Fair play tae thum though, cause Arty, as good as he wis, did look like a wee bit ay a nutter dayn it.

So wuv joost fell back fur a bit, decidin whit tae dae. An low an behold! The polis tried tae kettoe us in again. They even hud a go at some young wumin, puhshin hur aboot an that. Pigs, that's aw they ur man.

Then, It's Arty tae the fuckin rescue again! While we're aw fartin aboot worrying an tryin tae think, he just hits oot way
"If ye want tae stoap the SDL RUN DOON HERE!"

Fucken genuis, that boy.

So aboot fifty or mer ay us fuck off roon the coarner and doon a wee street. Nae cunt knows where wur gaun, cause maist ay us wur weegies tae be honest. Bit wur joost running any wey. Ahve no goat a clue, but ahm still aw lit' "GO GO GO GO YA RADGES!" So roon aboot this time, some cunt gets a phone call fae Carly, who's a fucken god send, cause she tells us where the SDL cunts ur. So wuv charged doon tae the crime scene and we bump intae her.

Bit then we kinna shat wursels a wee bit, cause the SDL walk oot right in front ay us, bit then we clock thit thur aw practically greetin. So wuv aw follayed thum, laughing an chantin at thum as thuv been caught way two Polis, who're geein thum the hame-time treatment.

An we're aw lit' "CHERIO CHERIO CHERIO! SEE YE LATER! AWAY HAME YA BUNCH AH UGLY DAFTIES."

An they ur aw like no sayin anythin cause thur shiten it fey the Polis bein there.

So the polis make thum go up the sterrs tae go tae the train station, an some big massive cunt throws a smoke grenage, an the Baldy Mob chuck it back, an the massive guy throws it back again. The big High-Vis Polis dafties don't even say anythin. Pure fucken radge mate.


Anywey. Later oan, we aw goat split up, an ah wis burstin fur a pish, bit ah wisney leavin, cause, see, the wey we goat split up wis like, sum ay us wur doon the hill fae Jenny Ha's an sum ay us were up the hill fae Jenny Ha's with this big fat High-Vis Polis barrier between us. So ah thoat tae mahsel "The Polis wulnae move fae this side if we stey here, so they're loacked in, the Manky Mob." So ah didny move.

So then mere people get roon oor side an we joost aw bunch up an there's fucken hunners ay us eventually. At wan point, the Polis brought some SDL cunts up this wee side bit an put them in the pub, but some ay thum started getting a wee bit radge and tried tae take a swipe it us. So a big giant Anarchist guy took a swing it thum an goat arrested. A well think' gentleman, if ye get me?

So then nothin happend fur aboot twenty-billion years cause the SDL wur shiten thumsels in Jenny Ha's, so we just nicked aboot chantin an annoyin the Polis. Eh, the Polis wur oot ay order, by the fucken way. Sum ay theum wur joost gettin too fucken lippy fur yur humble narrator's likin. An ah wis like "You're wanhntin a burst fucken lip, ya wank."

So then thurs buses fur the SDL cunts, an we wur aw laughin cause there wis aboot twelve ay thum, so they sent a bus away cause they didny need it. That made us aw go "If ye canny fill a bus yese ur fucken shite, ya radges," So we sang aboot that. Fucken pishin mahsel.

So then the Polis ur lit "Yese wahnt tae move oor there the noo, cause we're awfay busy daein fuck all."
An we wur lit "Naw."

So we joost steyed where we wur. Ahm still bustin fur a pish, mind, bit ah wis set oan gein wan last finger tae the SDL wanks. So wuv steyed. We hud a laugh, loast wur circulation, goat piles fae sittin oan a freezin fence, an hud a wee round ay 'I will survive'. Bit we wur aw starvin an maist ay us wur needin a pish quite fucken bad bi' this point.

Bit then the victory wis sealed, mah wee chummos, cause the big stupit lookin wankers were paped oan eh bus, not a word fae thum, an they wur shipped oot, tae a hail ay' "SCUM SCUM SCUM" fae us, an we gave 'em a wee wave wi wur middle finger. Nice tae see yeese away ya cunts.


So it wis a good day. Proves thit they ur joost wankers. Oan oor wey hame, we goat stalked by some wee weedy cunt wi a camera, and my wee chummo Andrew hits oot wey "He's follayin us,"
So wan ay the crew turns roon an goes "Good shots, ay mate?" An this wee weed goes "Aye I like gettin shots ay Antifash wanks," an he's turned roon an slabbered "sieg Heil" an ah wis like "Aw naw man, you're a pure spud, get yerself hame."

An that's the story toops, follay oor lead an tell eh racists tae get tae fuck, cause thur no welcom in mah sceme, mate.

Wee Lydia Tee signin aff, mah muckers.