WORDS FOR 2015

The Guardian has just published its list of ‘Words of 2014’ -  http://www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2014/dec/23/2014-have-a-word-with-yourself

How’s your vocabulary? How many of the words (all real) in the following paragraph are you familiar with?


Do you suffer from DYSANIA? I do. Having to get up is such a PROCTAGLIA, especially if one has been EBRIOUS and GAMBRINOUS the night before.
I usually PANDICULATE before getting up, or rub my OMPHALODIUM with my THENAR while thinking of NUDISTERTIAN matters – (I’m a bit slow.) I try to avoid indulging in RHINOTILLEXOMANIA.

I go to the bathroom to ablute, shave my POGONION, and eradicate my TRAGOMASCHALIA, using just enough aftershave to create a SILLAGE, but not enough to encourage RENIFLEURS. Examining my reflection in the mirror I wonder if I might escape the attention of KOINOPHILIACS?

Checking the time, I suddenly become LALOCHEZIC, and quickly get ready to leave the house.

On the bus late to work, again I indulge in LALOCHEZIA under my breath as I think of how I’ll have to FLINK to my ULIGINOUS, PLUTOMANIAC boss, the DEVIL’S PORT-GATE! Why must I GROAK and behave like a GOBEMOUCHE? I will abandon society and escape to the wilds where I will indulge my taste in DENDROPHILIA! But what would I live on – SNARGE?

No, instead I shall remain and devote myself to the cause of creating a new world of STRIKHEDONIA and ATARAXIA for all!

Let us no longer be UMBRATILE, but IGNIVOMOUS!

ZIRALEET!




DYSANIA – difficulty getting up in the morning
PROCTAGLIA – pain in the ass
EBRIOUS – opposite of sober
GAMBRINOUS – being full of beer
PANDICULATE – yawn and stretch at the same time
OMPHALODIUM – belly button
THENAR – fleshy base at the base of your thumb
NUDISTERTIAN – relating to the day before yesterday
RHINOTILLEXOMANIA – scientific term for being unable to stop picking your nose
POGONION – point of the chin
TRAGOMASCHALIA – having smelly armpits
SILLAGE – faint trace of perfume left in the wake of a passing person
RENIFLEUR – someone who gets sexual pleasure from smells
KOINOPHILIA – sexual attraction to average people
LALOCHEZIA – using swearing to relieve stress and pain
FLINK – behave in a cowardly manner
ULIGINOUS – having a slimy nature
PLUTOMANIA – delusion that one is immensely rich
DEVIL’S PORT-GATE – Elizabethan euphemism for “cunt”
GROAK – silently watch people eating, hoping they’ll ask you to join them
GOBEMOUCHE – someone who believes anything they’re told
DENDROPHILIA – love of trees
SNARGE – bird remains after being hit by aeroplanes
STRIKHEDONIA – joy of not giving a damn
ATARAXIA – complete freedom from stres and anxiety
UMBRATILE – someone who stays in the dark
IGNIVOMOUSNESS – ability to vomit fire
ZIRALEET – outcry of joy (especially by several people at once)